Friday, October 24, 2008

Simple Erotic Nurturing

In so many things in life, success is not about doing some far-out, unheard-of thing. Success is about doing simple things well and doing them consistently. This is true about sex. I can just SEE the grins on the faces of you dear readers. All roads lead to sex on SW's blog. Well, most of 'em. What can I say? It's my calling. (blush) (grin) So back to doing simple things and doing them well.
Nurturing words.
Talking during sex. Some of you love talking "dirty", smokin' hot, sultry, sexy, etc during sex. And good for you! I certainly talk like that some times. ;) Some of you may feel "not so much" about the "dirty" talk. Some of you may feel talking bold and playful with your mate there's nothing dirty about it.
Either way, doing the simple stuff and doing it well is always a good idea.
Here are some good examples of simple nurturing things to say during foreplay, sex, or afterplay.
  • I'm happy to be married to you
  • I desire you
  • I love looking at you
  • You're strong
  • You're beautiful
  • I love my life with you
  • I thank God for your body
  • I'm happy to be married to you
  • I want you
  • You're special
  • I love it when you touch me there
  • You feel so good
  • I love how your (body part) is (adjective)
  • That's so cool! I can see your (body part) (verb)!
  • You're so hot
  • Oooh, do that again!
  • I love making love to you
See? Ladies, you've heard most of these before. But when's the last time you said them?

Men, what do you think? Would you like to feel your wife's warm breath on your cheek whispering some of these nurturing words in your ear while she runs her hands down your back and squeezes your bum?

My thanks to Dr. Doug Weiss at, some of these nurturing words are adapted from his "Best Sex for Women Only" resource.

PS There are some words that only Delighted Husband will hear me say. And that is so great. Each couple's private language helps create their own erotic world.


Cocotte said...

Great post, where is that hubby of mine :)

Tamara said...


This is really good. I believe you are truly anointed by God to help women with this very basic but serious issue -- our sex life.

Personally, I usually don't like talking much during sex. I don't know why. As a recovering sex addict, sober now for 4 years, I still struggle with being inhibited around my husband.

When I began having sex as a young adolescent, it was always intoxicated sex. Out of my 51 years few of those years consisted of sober sex. Those were early child rearing days, and sex wasn't too much fun then anyway. Since most of my sexual responses were learned while being intoxicated; it's been a challenge to relearn after 30 years of marriage, how to have enjoyable, healthy, sober sex. I do believe, however, that God is restoring my youth like the eagle and my innocence, like it should have been when I got married.

I know I'm not alone when I say, I get embarrassed sometimes when I say things to my husband during sex. It's silly. Why should I be embarrassed with the man God gave me? When I was acting out sexually with other men or women, I didn't have a problem telling them nasty things, ok, so I was messed up on some drug, but still. There's something wrong when we can't be relaxed with our own husband.

I will say, after just discovering your blog a couple of days ago, I spent several hours reading it Wednesday night. On Thursday morning, my husband and I spent some time together and actually had the most beautiful sober sex of our married life. I attribute much of that to your blog and the confidence it gave me to be myself with my husband without fear.

SW, I really appreciate your nurturing words. They give me courage, a sense of freedom, and maybe even permission to speak some simple, but erotic words to my husband.

Thank you.

Shabbat Shalom

Who am I said...

The answer would be yes, I love those things spoken to me.

BTW- I see you posting more consistently- does that mean you are starting to get on top of redoing your house- or you have done everything you can do until more contractors arrive?

Anonymous said...

As a man I love to hear these words especailly when I am enjoying my wife's breasts.

Mike said...

Sex is communication. Both phyiscal and verbal. The verbal can be the powerful part.

By putting the other person first, surrendering in love, amazing things can happen.

This is a good post for couples to read.