Saturday, January 31, 2009

I love my readers

I miss you all. There are so many things I can't talk about. Just wanted you to know that I'm still here. I am currently going through what may be the most devastating time of suffering and refining I've ever had to walk through. I will be okay. You know me, I will do whatever it takes to push through to healing. And you know me, after I receive a measure of healing, I'll be so eager to share that story with you. In the meantime, I'll share other stories. If God never does another thing for me, His generosity is unquestioned. I am blessed. And I will be loved. And so will you.


Thank you Sue, for giving me this song.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Comparison Trap

Something I've learned recently is that comparing myself with another woman or worse yet someone else comparing me to another woman is a shortcut ticket to misery. I want to share some thoughts that have helped me find my way out of the comparison trap.

I must live in the light of God's sovereignty.
Trusting His good heart toward me.
Trusting God did a good job when he made me.
Trusting God and I and I together are doing a good job of continuing to make me.
I must accept God's grace toward me as sufficient,
and not fall into either ditch of pride or envy.
Pride says I'm better than someone else.
Envy says I think someone else's possessions or traits or qualities are better than mine and I therefore find my own possessions or traits or qualities not good enough, less-than, unsatisfactory.
God created me.
God did a great job and took great joy in making me.
And I can take great joy in making me too, because I am made by, shaped by, changed by the choices that I make day after day after day.
Making the choice to grow and change is a good thing.
But healthy change MUST be secondary to the foundation of truth that says:
God is sovereign, God is good, God is loving, and this good God shaped me with tender care.
It is in this warm solid foundation, that change is good and welcomed for I know I was delightful already before the change.

And being humble and vulnerable and tender and strong,
giving God plenty of elbow room to work,
that can only yield good things.

Feeling this, knowing this , believing this

and I'm delighted to share it with you.

With love,

PS Thinking about God creating me led me to this video of creation. I belong smack-dab amongst all this other created beauty cause the very same artist made me. Ooooh! Love that!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Good News

I have hope.

Like cold water to a thirsty soul is good news from a far country. Dallas is far enough!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Giving Words of Blessing

As many of you can imagine, I'm going through a dark time right now. I had posted about it and pulled both posts so I can edit them as our story unfolds.

One thing that would help me a lot is blessing. Hearing and reading good words spoken over me. So, dear friends. I ask you to bless me. Share a comment with whatever is on your heart to share. I need the fuel of good words spoken over me. Imagine me palms up ready to receive.
Love y'all,

PS Don't get worried about sounding religious. If you want to say, "I bless you with (benefit)" that's fine. Or you might just want to remind me of something positive or admirable about my self.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

What I'm all about

Hi I'm Shula and I am a Woman, Wife, Mama, Spiritual & Sexual Health Advocate..sharing my encouragement strength & hope

I'm all about the joy. Joy and delight from all the senses including erotic joy from healthy sexuality and healthy spirituality. Joy in spite of difficult circumstances not joy because of perfect circumstances. Cause hey, who's got perfect circumstances?? If you wait for perfect circumstances to have great healthy sex, you'll wait far too long!

Many common health issues don't have to keep you from experiencing great sex. I'm not a doctor or a sex therapist, I'm a regular girl who has overcome several medical issues and come through on the other side. (biting lip twinkly eyed grin). I am more known for my love of life and for my lifestyle of receiving pleasure through the senses than I am known for the health issues I've overcome. But I do mention the health issues like sexual abuse, depression, uterine prolapse, chronic pain, and hormone disorders because I want women everywhere to know that these health issues do NOT have to mean the end of their sex life! With love, creativity, persistence and quality tools and resources, the beauty and power and pleasure of healing can be yours.

I know sex has the power to bring bonding and blessing to marriage, and I don't want anyone to miss out! My tweets and my blog are a wonderful blend of joys and sorrows because I believe in truth in advertising. When I shout out my love and gratitude for a hot experience of healthy sex, my readers know it's legit because I also share about the personal growth and healing it took to get there. I do share glimpses from my daily life because I think it's important for credibility that you know I'm a regular girl and if I can have a healthy sex life then so can you.

After years of being asked for sexual health product recommendations, I'm opening a store at

This is my story, the concise version. (grin)
Lotsa love,

Friday, January 2, 2009

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

I love the idea of times and seasons in our lives. I want to know what God is doing in my life and how I can join him. I feel so much better about this than I used to feel. For me, New Years Resolutions were all about shame and white-knuckling. "I know what I should do and (scrunch up willpower).......(gasp) (pant) can't do it (shame)" and eeeew~ who'd wanna sign up that?

My mind got changed for the better when I read something by John Eldredge. I seem to recall it was in one of his newsletters. Anyway, I remember him talking about his group of friends and how one new year they wrote down something they really desired God would give them or do for them, in them, through them. Didn't have to be something "spiritual" (which is a whole nother article, cause I think it's all spiritual) but anyway it was something cool and compelling that really spoke from the heart for each person I remember it was fun nonreligious stuff like dancing, travel, stuff like that. Anyway, they folded up their pieces of paper and put them away and then revealed them at the end of the year and God has granted their desires or they had seen something right on the horizon where it was about to happen.

Here's my point. When it comes to turning over to a new season in my life, a new year, and I'm asking myself what to hope for, I wanna be driven by the deep desires of my heart, and I want to do it in the spirit of ask/seek/knock, revealing to God my honest desire and asking him to give/find/open the door. Of course there will be some corresponding action on my part. But I want my corresponding action to be like feel like a lover's scavenger hunt adventure not a desperate search for something that prolly doesn't exist.

Y'see, The Bible says if we take delight in the Lord he will give us the desires of our heart. There's so much in there. And like most things about God, it sounds too good to be true, so resist the urge to dismiss this idea as name-it-and-claim-it-ATM-Theology.

Have you ever taken delight in someone? Like a new baby or a new lover? Remember the adoration you gave to every detail of their body. "Look at her teeny little fingernails! Aren't they perfect!" "Breathe in the musky scent of you and feel how lovely it is to lay my cheek against your belly like a pillow". That's taking delight in. Just adoring every detail about them and celebrating each of their finer qualities by pouring out extravagant love on it. Have you ever done that with God? Have you ever just delighted in learning about his fine qualities and celebrating them by pouring out your extravagant love upon them? "Wow, God, the way I just happened to run into a developer with the coding language I need at a child's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese, that is so awesome how you did that. Thank you. I love you." or "Wow, God that sunset was just exceptional. Attaboy! Well done!" or "You know God the way you go out of your way to forgive me when I screw up is just way cool and deeply appreciated". You know, stuff like that. So, if you cultivate a lifestyle of doing that, relating to God like that, then your desires will be good desires. You're not gonna be asking for help with a wicked revenge plan or some shit like that. (laughing)

Now. Here's the really cool part. God is generous. And he enjoys giving us the world. Like, he even gets pleasure from it. I know, pleasure and God seem at first glance to be incompatible, but they're not. Jesus said, "It's the Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom." Let that one sink in and it may knock religion off it's high horse.

My friend Eleutheros is a really good husband. Seriously. The way he loves his Mrs. makes the world a better place. Delighted Husband and I were on our way to lunch with them and I complimented his wife (I'll call her Freebird) I complemented Freebird on this ring she was wearing. Not her wedding ring. A bonus ring. She smiled and her eyes sparkled and she said "Honey tell her the story of this ring." Oh my goodness, how their eyes were sparkling! He told us the story of going from place to place, leaving Freebird a little gift, and a clue to the next spot on the journey. Freebird ended up at a jewelry store with a little box given to her and directions to the place for dinner. Only God Almighty knows who derived more joy from this lovers scavenger hunt: Eleutheros or Freebird. God is like this.

So. When I look at the wide white expanse of naked calendar pages with nothing written on them, a whole year's worth, I realize I'm on a lovers scavenger hunt and God has hidden little gifts and treasures and clues for me along the way, and there is a theme and there is a bonus. And there will be directions for me to follow and corresponding actions I must take. But what a joy! Knowing that a lover has planted treats for me to discover and enjoy along the journey. (grin) Cool, huh?

So I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I do a Lover's Scavenger Hunt. I start a new one each year. And as I prepare my heart for the new year and take a gratitude inventory of the last year, I thumb through the desires in my heart for the first clues of the journey.

So, y'all wanna hear some of my first clues?
I want to take up figure skating again. After all these years, since I skated, I still see skating choreography in my head when I hear certain music. And I'm gonna skate again. I am so psyched about this! Now in order to do this, I'm gonna have to do athletic training and develop my strength and skill before I ever take to the ice. But isn't that fun!!! Not just 'ho hum working out because it's what I should do' but "whoo wee today let's work on strengthening my core to increase power and balance" Sound like fun don't it??? (grin)

Any of ya'll wanna share your clues? Your desires that are clues to what God wants to give you in 2009? I'd love to hear them.