Thursday, October 23, 2008

It Ain't Easy, But You Are So Worth It

I woke up today in a cold sweat with an awful sense that something was wrong and I had no idea what it was. Some of you who have been reading with me for a while might not be surprised at this. It's not uncommon for a flareup of vague nameless fear to crop up after a victory. I call this a battle for my heart, and it's happened before. Hell, there's a whole category for it. I have to smile at that. There's a whole category for it. For some reason, that is just so funny to me. A great big smile has spread across my face. Here's the payoff for being humble and accountable. People know where you're at.

So I sat up for an hour or so, trying to snap out of it and getting nowhere. So I went back to bed. I told Delighted Husband, "I woke up in a cold sweat at 4:30 with a vague sense that something was terribly wrong and I don't know what it is. I've been sitting in the living room trying to figure out what it is, and I don't know what it is. So I figured if I'm going to not know, I may as well come back here and be warm while I don't know."

Delighted Husband snuggled up to me, and mumbled in a sleepy voice, "If you don't know what's wrong then nothing's wrong. The thief comes to steal kill and destroy" and then he began to snore.

Just like that, I was filled with peace.

Oh, after seeing it happen a few hundred times, I am learning!

Huge strides up the mountain are sometimes interspersed with little bouts of vertigo.
Don't jump off the mountain.
Just hold onto your partner.
Ask them to pass the container of oxygen.
Stand still and breathe deeply.
Rest and collect yourself.
When you feel ready, move one foot forward.
You are so worth it!


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