The Fuel-Efficient Shagmobile

I can die now. My life is complete. I have just used the word shagmobile in an article title. (cue Austin Powers) Oh beHAVE!!

After all the fun we had talking about the day Delighted Husband and I traded in our big comfy van, I thought I'd post an update or two about the new wheels.


First of all, some of you know how fond I am of long walks and bike rides out in God's Green Earth.
Now, I can transport my bike with ease. More than 1 bike if one of the kids or Delighted Husband wants to come biking with me. This is way cool.





Speaking of shagging. We weren't, but I never let that stop me before. (giggling)
As I said, field testing for the effability of the new SUV has not yet been completed.
Our accessories have just arrived.
Wooo hoo! Oh babysitter, where art thou?

Treat Yourself, Queens of the Kingdom!

I took the day off today and treated myself.
I was Queen for a Day. (and every other day) but I've always wanted to say that
I took the kids to school and took the time to meet with DC1's counselor and principal to make sure DC1 is getting everything they need to succeed. This is not a parenting blog so I won't go into long details. Just to say that I went to bat for my kid and I did it with a calm won't-back-down stance. I was friendly, and smiled, and thanked the educators on the team yet I held onto myself and spoke my truth with confidence. I know what DC1 needs and I am determined they will get it. There was a big tangled up ball of yarn issue that I've been working on this week, and while the principal was walking me out, they thanked me for doing such a great job being a champion and advocate for my child. This from the person who had been stonewalling me earlier. I was gracious and kind, and I felt my crown sparkle as I walked through the parking lot out to my car. Yes! I am Queen! I may have been the only one who could see my crown, but I knew it was there. (Suzanne Sugarbaker smile)

As I drove home, I was a bit uneasy hoping my new cleaning lady would show. I had not called her yesterday to confirm (remind) her and I checked my phone for her number, realized I didn't have it, and made a mental note to look up her number on my desk as soon as I got home. I never needed to. I arrived home at 8:59 to find her waiting for me. Smiling on the back porch. A responsible adult who shows up promptly for their appointment made 3 weeks ago. THANKS BE TO GOD! I could have hugged her! and I would have but my arms were full of cleaning supplies I was bringing in from the garage.

Now my domicile has been more than a little bit topsy turvy lately. I've had lots of men wearing workboots and toolbelts with names like Bubba and Earl all OVER my house during the last month and they were all done for the foreseeable future and I was time me and my much appreciated new cleaning lady to put all to rights in my little kingdom. I want to point something out. Something very special and loving. I did it for me. I knew the kids and Delighted Husband would enjoy the lovely sparkling clean space all light and airy and organized. But I did it primarily for me. I did it for the joy of it because that is what Queens do: they put their kingdoms to rights. Set things in beauty and welcoming order. Now Queenly confidence aside, there is no frickin way I would attempt to restore order to THIS domicile all by myself. No ma'am. But with a friend, with a capable kind strong smart lady to help me? Piece a cake! Well, yeah a piece of cake but a cake you have to bake. From scratch. But you get to eat it.

My favorite Fedex delivery driver delivered a package today. I answered smiling, out of breath and sweating. a lot. "Girl what're you doin?" he said with a grin. "Oh hey. I've got a new cleaning lady." "Then why are you sweatin?" I looked ruefully over my shoulder. "There's a lot to do."

We cleaned.
and cleaned.
and cleaned.

I say we not in the royal sense. I mean we both me and the dear cleaning lady put my house in order one room at a time. She did the scrubbing and the heavy stuff. I put stuff away where I know it belongs and washed, dried and folded laundry like nobody's business.

And I enjoyed it.

Swear to God.

Now I know this could really sound Stepfordish. But trust me anyone who knows me would crack up laughing at the notion of ME as a Stepford wife. What I'm trying to say is that today, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed housework. Something shifted inside my head this morning and I thought, "Hey, I have to live here. I deserve somewhere beautiful and decent and lovely to live in so I think I'll just make this place decent and beautiful and lovely enough for the likes of me!"

So I did.

I've been reading this great book How Starbucks Saved My Life. About an unemployed Ad Executive who gets a job in a Starbucks store and experiences the unexpected joy of hard work and taking pride in a job well done. I guess it's rubbed off on me.

After I treated myself to a beautiful sparkling light airy orderly home, after paying DCL and hugging her and scheduling her return date, I treated myself to a bath in my sparkling clean jacuzzi tub. Blissed out on pleasure and smelling sweetly of lily of the valley, I put myself down for a nap.

I woke up to the sounds of the kids coming home from school.

This is one of the best days off I've ever had. I treated myself. I worked so hard I got in my target heart rate.

Will I enjoy seeing how encouraged and comforted Delighted Husband is when he drags his weary self home and sees our gorgeous little kingdom?
Sure.
But I did it for me.
I treated myself.
(ting!) That's the sound of my crown sparkling. (grin) SW

Garden of Delight

Today I'm enjoying the sense of sight and smell and touch and hearing and the deep inner knowing of sensuous self-awareness. And I'm getting very dirty in the process!

(laugh)
What am I doing?

I'm reflowering my garden. Four flats of petunias are making themselves at home in beds and boxes and pots all over my garden.

I LOVE flowers. Y'all know this. Many of you may remember the last time I experienced the Sacred Romance, God gave me flowers. Well He's done it again, and this time I don't just get to look at them, I get to play with them. I say play because truly it feels like the delighted absorption of child's play instead of the hurried labor of landscaping by the clock.

The petunias, big rich purple blossoms heavy with scent, are so vibrant and extravagant with blooms 4 inches across they run the risk of being gaudy, but instead they come across as unashamedly profligate—self-satisfied in their fragrant velvety elegance.

The cool but not too cool breeze wafting over my skin feels soothing and refreshing. As though the very air is saying "wake up" and "welcome back" to skin exposed by my swimsuit...skin that hasn't seen outdoor light all the long winter. Skin that was apparently quite appreciated...according to the the admiring glance of the teenaged boys in the neighborhood. Their admiring looks hidden in friendly greetings both embarrassed and flattered me. At my age! (giggle)

All the kids in the neighborhood must be away at soccer games or indoors playing gamecube, because they're not outdoors playing their happy screaming games of chase. It's so quiet outdoors I can hear the birds singing. No noise. Not even a lawnmower! It's just my day. A present from Himself.

I've long thought that all creation quietly sings with Eros and today only confirms my suspicion.

There's something so earthy and wonderful about laying down on your belly, propped up by your elbows, at eye level with soil and earthworms and leaves and mulch and sweet delicate blossoms attached to living green stems attached to roots so overgrown and eager for new soil that they look like tufts of white hair. These little plants are so ALIVE just teeming with life and fertility and color! I love the voracious nature of roots growing beyond the plastic pot searching reaching demanding MORE MORE MORE!

So yeah I like my gardening. ;)

And I also savor this feminine self-awareness deep inside, knowing that even though my knees and elbows are caked with dirt, my aquasocks are caked with mud and my gloves are so dirty the sunny yellow is barely visible, I feel a secret satisfied joy in knowing that underneath all that dirt is a woman all beautifully manicured and pedicured and lovely. There is beauty above the dirt (my lovely petunias) and there is beauty underneath the dirt (my lovely me).

Fertility and beauty and color and joy!
God, I love being a woman.

Scheduled Sex and Being Too Tired

I'm learning that saving time to be together is important and that you don't have to feel energetic and horny before you walk in the bedroom in order to have a beautiful pleasurable evening. Some of you have known this for years. For me, it's big news.

I knew Delighted Husband and I had saved this evening for each other. And on evenings we plan to be together, I usually save some mental and physical energy for him and deliberately think carnal thoughts all day in anticipation. But I didn't this last time. I had a good but busy day at work, had an emotionally uplifting lunch with my girlfriends, and had a challenging couple of hours helping the DC with their homework and coaching them through several tudes. By the end of the two hours, I felt wrung out like a sponge. I went to DH and said "I need skin to skin for a few minutes. I"m worn out." He was quick to oblige, as he had heard me calmly standing my ground with the children who were trying to turn "bitch moan and argue with mom" into an Olympic sport.

We locked ourselves in our room and quickly got naked for some cuddles. I sighed with comfort and pleasure as I nestled into his arms. "Remind me" I asked. And so he did. Delighted Husband gave me two or three sentences reminding me good things about myself. Words of affirmation and physical touch together are a powerful combination. I began to feel myself recharge, like a dead cell phone on a charger lighting up again. We cuddled and caressed each other and without trying, words spilled out of my mouth, complimenting him and loving on him. Reminding him what a wonderful man he was. Which took absolutely no effort to come up with affirming words considering how loving he had just shown himself to be.

This wasn't steamy talk by any means. Our skin-to-skin contact was for bonding and affirmation, not arousing. It was the "sharing your heart's life force" definition of Eros, not the "tingly thrilling do me" definition of Eros. Our fifteen minutes passed quickly and the doorbell ringing with the first trick or treaters told us our time was up.

I went to get dinner going and DH took over door duty with the trick or treaters.

Dinner was yummy and punctuated by doorbell ringing every few minutes. It was fun to chat with the neighbors, although difficult to eat between visitors, but what do we expect?

Finally got the DC tucked in after their sugar rush, and DH and I knew our "date" time had arrived. We were both tired and achy, but wanted to be together. Both of us said something to this effect while we were standing in the kitchen. We decided to go for it and see what God might do for us.

Walking in our bedroom and locking the door was an act of faith. We had zero tingly erotic urgency. Our muscles were tired and achy. But we felt emotionally connected and a desire to make the most of the opportunity. After all, we were in our bedroom at 9pm with kids already tucked in their own beds. Just watching TV or going to sleep would feel like we squandered an opportunity.

I suggested a massage and spread the liberator throe over the comforter to keep massage oil off the bed. After joking over whose turn it would be first, I laid down on my back with my knees supported by the liberator whirl. This is where the first of many miracles happened. It didn't take five minutes of smelling him and feeling him touch me that I was very aroused. As our arousal became more visible, we kept joking, "I'm too tired" "Oh me too. I'm way too tired." That position actually did become tiring for Delighted Husband so we switched so he could lie down with the whirl under his knees. I became the active pleasurer which I enjoyed very much. DH let me know how much pleasure he was receiving which of course made my heart feel that good feeling you get inside when you know somebody is enjoying the gift you gave them. It was also a huge turn-on. We warmed to the task. Delighted Husband became the active pleasurer again, while I rocked happily. He asked me to hand him a certain toy while he told me what he was about to do to me and how he knew I was going to respond. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Gazing into his eyes, I came in about 6 seconds, which surprized the heck out of both of us. How'd we do that? We're too tired!

After I caught my breath, we switched to our favorite finish position. Delighted Husband positioned me the way he wanted me, which is such a small simple thing, but I love that because it demonstrates our being relaxed and comfortable and his matter-of-fact intent to take me which is just such an emotional rush. I have no idea how long we made love because time stood still. Smiling into his eyes while watching my husband come is one of the sweetest spiritual and emotional experiences I've ever had. He is magnificent.

Once we came back down to earth, told each other it was time for a quick shower and then sleep, cause we really were tired. Shower was shared and quick with much grinning at each other. I happened to glance at the clock on my way back to bed from the shower. It was 9:30!

"Oh My God! Honey, look, soup to nuts this whole lovemaking was 30 minutes! Can you believe it?" To say we both thanked God would be putting it mildly. I thank God for the toy and pillows that helped us coax pleasure out of an evening when the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. I suspect that the DHA and EPA supplements I took for the last few days may have had something to do with my quick response. (I'm on The Orgasmic Diet which is another article). Most of all, I believe miracles still happen. Even in the marriage bed. I blame this miracle on our generous loving God rewarding our small act of faith of locking the door even though we were too tired. -SW

So Alive

I feel so alive today!
God is good.
I'm back!
-SW

Living the Sacred Romance

Today was such a gift. I swear. The entire day I was romanced and pursued and treated to delights big and and small. And Delighted Husband had nothing to do with it.

Cool thing about repentance. When I surrender as soon as God shows me I missed the mark, the sun comes out and life feels full color again.

Whenever I get rid of idols in my life, God seems to have fun rushing in to romance me and welcome me back.

I had the sweetest dream last night. Not just an un-bad dream. Not just the lack of a nightmare, but a dream of an experience that was was rich and so sweet my soul felt nourished when I wakened. I dreamed that Delighted Husband and I had dinner with our friends...another couple whose hearts we are fond of and admire. We arrived at their home for a cookout and the welcome on their faces was immersion. The feeling of being welcomed and delighted in washed over me. I felt so good to see them. And they felt so good to see me. I could just tell.

My brain was in a groove so I got into high gear organizing my office. It felt so good to begin to put things to right in my office. This Summer season was busy and little by little I reclaimed "a place for everything and everything in its place".

I ran out to run an errand at lunch and realized I would be going right by one of Delighted Husband's vendors. I called and asked him if there was anything he'd like me to drop off or pick up there and sure enough, he needed something. This Summer I was nearly drowning in roundtuits and guests and customers and vendors so it had been a while since I offered to run an errand for Delighted Husband. I could tell tell he was shocked in a good way to be asked. The usual this Summer was for him to beg me to run an errand and after 3 days of reminders I'd finally remember and finish it. So it felt so good to be able to offer.and deliver the same day.

I had fun chatting for a minute with DH's vendor. He's worked with that vendor for years and I know her from some of his work events. It just made my day to be able to greet a friend I hadn't seen in months. She bragged on my hair told me it looked great. I took this as a total bonus from God because I had just this morning been plotting to take myself in for some scheduled maintenance at the salon. But it felt so good to hear her sincere complement today. It meant alot.

I found myself near one of my favorite restaurants and I did something I had never done there before. I ate lunch by myself. I'm a gabber (as if you couldn't tell!) and I love to get out of the office and socialize with other humans (besides the customer on the other end of my endlessly ringing phone.) And I would have much rather eaten out with a friend but I was hungry. And I was there. So I summoned a little shot of bravery and went right on in. They seated me immediately which Never happens there since it's such a good restaurant. I didn't quite have the nerve to dawdle alone, so I aked the waiter what entree was fastest and he recommended a particular salad. It was the tastiest salad I have had in months. I was so busy gratefully consuming my salad (which was formed into an Aztec pyramid shape) that it took me a while to recognize the waiter's kindness and good service had morphed into flirting. I am so naive like that. It's hard to believe what with me wearing a wedding band that any man would go ahead and flirt anyway. I didn't feel icked out or intimidated. It's not like he asked me for a date. He just asked if I worked nearby and grinned and said "see you tomorrow!". I just felt flattered and grateful for the human interaction. After this long exhausting lonely Summer, it meant a lot.

As I was leaving the restaurant, I noticed a florist I'd always wanted to visit. Every time I'd been to that restaurant, DH and I had been doing the hustle trying to get back home for the babysitter so I'd never stopped in at the florist. I imagined the stack of phone messages waiting for me at the office, but I decided to give myself 10 minutes.

I wandered in and was delighted to see it was one of those charming mom & pop florists...cluttered with scented candles and cute gifty items. A lanky kid in his early twenties appeared from around the corner, grinned at me and asked if he could help. I told him I used to hang out at florist with my mom when I was a kid and I hadn't been in a florist with a little time to kill in years. "I didn't see much in your cooler up front, is there any more?" He grinned again, said "sure, there's more in the back", and just like that, I got the backstage tour back through the designer workstation into the bigggg cooler. It felt so good to stand in that cool room. It's still hot outside where I live. I looked around. There were signs on the shelves indicating price range. $40-$45 is a lot for an impulse buy unplanned expense, but I felt a nudge inside that said "go ahead" so I picked one vase off the shelf then another. "These are just starter vases for inventory" Sweet Blond Lanky Kid said, "we expect you to want to customize it a bit."

Customize it? Oh my. I'm livin' large just buying myself flowers not from a grocery store as it is. But I really did like the look of those Stargazer lilies in that bucket over in the corner, so I turned around to hand him the vase. Only it wasn't Sweet Blonde Lanky Kid, it was the designer. She was a petite brunette with kind brown eyes. "What would you like to add?" I swallowed and did the math in my head. Adding the lilies to my $45 arrangement would probably end of costing me fifty bucks. I considered asking her to pare down the vase before adding the lilies but it seemed mean and stingy to cull out the pink baby callas that blended so sweetly with the other flowers, I decided to go for it. I summoned more bravery. "Just add one of those Stargazers here in the middle and I think I"ll be good to go." I went upfront to wait by the cash register, enjoying smelling the scented candles and chatting with other customers.

The designer rang up my order. She only charged me 30 bucks. I managed not to gape my surprize but smiled and said "thank you" as I handed her my card. Then I thought out loud"how in the world am I gonna drive and hold a vase of flowers?" The grocery store flowers I am used to come in a paper and lay nicely on the carseat. "No problem, Kind Eyed Designer said, I"ll get you a bucket." I wasn't quite sure what that meant. But in 2 minutes Kind Eyed Designer emerged from her workshop carrying a plain black bucket, with my sweet little vase nestled in white gift tissue. It looked like a gift bag from a party. The other customer gasped with delight. So did I.

I gathered up my purse and magazines and then the other customer said "Can I help you to your car?" I smiled and said "Well sure an open door would be nice." She said "Oh no let me help" and she gathered up my little bucket o' flowers and walked with me to my car. I buckled the bucket into the front passenger seat just like Kind Eyed Designer told me to and thanked the other customer. "Have a great day" she said. "How could I not?" I replied.

I felt like Queen for a Day. A nice healthy yummy lunch out, stunning flowers all for forty bucks. This had God written all over it.

So to send Him my thank you note, I opened my sunroof, put on my sunglasses, and grinned my biggest grin right up at the sun. I drove back to work singing along with Chris Rice while the airconditioner blasted swirling coolness all around me.

Now I"m sneaking into Heaven with a borrowed halo
Hoping no-one notices my broken wings
Sneaking through these gates thinkin Lord Have Mercy
I'm never gonna make it if its up to me.

Hey mister Pedro, I have a little confession
I don't belong here and this halo isn't mine
Peter laughed and said
"son haven't you noticed we've all been broken and now we're doin' just fine"
cause nobody's good enough up here we're all the same
we all get to Heaven under someone else's name

I feel so alive. I feel so romanced and treated to love's little niceties.
And my beloved husband had nothing to do with it.
Sometimes the one who romances us best of all is God. -SW

I don't deserve it, but I'll embrace it

my sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
my sin, not in part, but the whole
is nailed to the cross
and I bear it no more
praise the Lord
praise the Lord
O my soul

Click the rewind and play buttons repeatedly and lather-rinse-repeat until this one sinks down into your soul. When it does, you'll get filled up with a great-big Gratitude Happy. Many artists sing this song well. My favorite is the one belted out by the sweet voice of Sarah Welch Fuselier. Whoo yeah! Sing it darlin!

Let the Music Move You

One of the biggest dimensions to living a life of pleasure as a sensuous wife is how I feel and act when nobody's looking except my Creator. Music is such a huge part of that. This morning while I was standing in front of the stove whipping up a batch of omega 3 swedish pancakes (gotta get in that guerrilla nutrition whenever I can!) the song I was listening to went from Exquisite Cathedral to Groove Dog in just a few bars. I let myself enjoy it. I swayed and sashayed around the kitchen, letting my wrists do a writhey-twirly thing like a Bollywood movie. I had so much fun I burned one batch of pancakes. I'd do it again.

Better 6 partially burned pancakes with a groovin' happy wife then 8 perfect pancakes with an annoyed and itchin' wife.

The song, as you groovin' wives will doubtless want to know, is The Call on Michael W Smith's Freedom album. -SW