Friday, August 21, 2009

This blog is moving to a new home

I think we've about got all the kinks worked out. So mosey on over to and check out the blog's new digs!

If you link to current posts of mine Angela and Kyra I know you do, darlin' then please adjust your links to the new address.

Those of you who left comments this week, I didn't post 'em yet cause I knew the move was comin' up. Can you please re-post your comments on the new blog? Email me at sensuouswife at gmail dot com if you want me to email your comments back to you so you can just copy and paste to repost them.

Love y'all! Be good! See you at the new location!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

A wife asks: How do I initiate more?

Beloved Annalea asked this great question:
"I'm not the greatest at initiating sex with my husband. I never turn him down and I do make the occassional offer on my own. Though he never fusses at me about it, I know he'd love it if I initiated more. Any ideas?"

Well darlin, my answer is counterintuitive. If you want to really bless him, think about yourself more. I’d encourage you to initiate the things that are likely to arouse you and go for it when you find the sparks fly.

For example:
In the evening, when you step out of the shower and your honey is watching TV, take a hairbrush or comb from the bathroom and walk to the bed still nekkid*, hand him the brush, and say “Baby, brush my hair” and smile. He is very likely to say yes. You’re the only smiling nekkid woman in the room.

Now, this is the most important part: Enjoy it. I mean really enjoy it. Turn your whole focus and attention on your skin and scalp and hair. Lean your naked back against your husband’s chest. Notice how good this simple skin to skin contact feels. Feel the delightful pull of the brush going through your hair. Do not be afraid to sigh and say Ahhhh. Make whatever happy sounds you feel like making.

Now this is the part where your thoughts are so important. Do not allow any other thoughts to enter your head besides “he loves me” and “this feels good” and “I love him”. If any other thoughts enter your mind, let them go, by focusing on your skin and drinking in the sensations.

Imagine your spirit melting into his. Imagine his spirit melting into yours. Pretty soon, you’ll be wanting the rest of you to be touched and petted and fondled.

Move your body to expose whatever you want to be touched. Touch him back. Let yourself drink in the sensation and love you crave.
Give your husband the gift of knowing his wife is totally savoring his every touch.

There are some more overt, hot ways to initiate sex and we’ll talk about those in a future post. But first, I want to encourage this more “self-focused” approach. Get very used to the idea of going to your husband for touch that is loving and feels good. Get accustomed to receiving from him and receiving well. Get in the habit of letting yourself become aroused and following it up by seeking an orgasm with your husband. Train your body and your heart to anticipate pleasure with him and you will automatically find yourself initiating more.

* according to beloved Southern humorist Lewis Grizzard, Naked is having no clothes on, Nekkid is having no clothes on when you're up to sumthin'. (grin)

Saturday, July 25, 2009

It's all about YOU

My readers are the best! Y'all add so much to my life and I want to give back to you. I want every reader to feel empowered to see their ideas and questions addressed here. So what sex topics would you like to see addressed here on the sensuous wife blog? I invite you to email me at sensuouswife AT gmail dot com or post a comment. I'll post my answers as a new blog post. Education and discussion is empowering, and I want y'all to have the best sex. Love, Shula

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

In Full Bloom

I want to show y'all how beautifully the flowers are in full bloom. Aren't they lovely?
Share photos on twitter with Twitpic

I want to live like that. I want to live in full bloom, fully showing my beauty, fully showing my glory, fully sharing my joy. I believe we bloom under the touch of someone who loves us. By bloom I mean we become our best selves, we develop into our full gorgeousness. Gorgeous spirit. Gorgeous body. Can't you just see the sparkle in a woman's eye when she knows she's loved? The peace on her face, the serenity?

Can being loved make you look younger? Research says it can.
According to research done by David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, making love 3 times a week in a stress-free relationship can make you look 10 years younger. Dr. Weeks studied more than 3500 men and women between the ages of 18 and 102. In his study, a panel of judges viewed the participants through a one way mirror and then guessed the age of each subject. A group of men and women were labeled 'super young' whose ages were underestimated by 7-12 years. Can you imagine?

I want to be like that, don't you? What choices are you willing to make so that you live in full bloom?

Monday, July 6, 2009

I gave myself roses and chocolate

Oh y'all what a delightful ending to a long but good day~

I spent most of my day working in the office of my new consulting client. (see Holy Crap! I'm a self-employed single mama) While I'm thrilled with the way my store is doing, it will be a while until the store can sustain DC and me. So in the meantime, I'm reviving my corporate career and looking for gigs. I delivered some great results to my client today. They were so happy with the results I showed them that they gave me a raise on the spot. Wow! When I arrived back on my side of town, it had been 16 hours since I left home this morning. Ready to chill, but contented, I decided that the only thing that would make this evening more perfect was Guittard Fair Trade Dark Chocolate. So i drove to the grocery store. When I entered the store, I saw that flowers were on sale at a significant discount. Y'all know me and flowers, right? That's when I saw them, the perfect coralpink color of roses that i like so much. And blue iris were the perfect contrast.

I moseyed over to the wine section to get another bottle of the fabulous red wine that I had enjoyed at my friend's house for dinner last week.

Then over to the baking aisle to get the chocolate. Guittard Fair Trade, dontchaknow? My mercy me!

I was standing in line at the checkout when i realized. It looks like I am going home to romance my man. These are the same kind of goodies I bought for years in my marriage. The kind of goodies that made me sing out "Honnnneeee look what IIIIII founnnnnd" I smiled because I realized there's not a reason in the world I shouldn't still do this. No longer for my husband but for myself. And that felt so darn good.

So I got home and realized dangit all I cannot find a vase. A single vase. My china cabinet used to have several nice vases and I bet those were lost in the divorce. I was really getting bummed that I had these gorgeous flowers and nowhere to put them. For a brief moment I actually considered putting the bouquet in the glass pitcher of the blender just to keep them alive. I couldn't let the poor darlings die. I prayed, "Oh God don't let me have gone this far with the Sacred Romance and have the flowers die because all the vases are with Ex. That's just wrong."

And then I remembered the basil.

When I had the sweetest couple and their two adorable children over for dinner they brought me fresh basil from their garden. In a vase. I had been so focused on the basil, I had forgotten the vase. So I washed out the vase and wouldn't ya know it-the roses and iris fit perfectly.

Here is what I learned:

God still loves me even though I do not live with Ex anymore. I experienced so much of God's love during my years as a wife, I had to realize that God's love and God validating my desire for romance are still alive and kicking now that I'm single again.

I still love me even though I don't live with Ex anymore. Doing sweet nurturing things for myself are really important now. Perhaps even more important than when Ex did them from time to time.

Just because my sexual and spiritual awakening occurred during my married era doesn't mean it all blew up in smoke with my divorce. Quite the contrary. Cause I need God now more than ever. The simple act of recognizing and acknowledging my desire-truly owning it-is an act of faith. It takes faith to want something you can't make happen yourself. It takes faith to let yourself want when you must depend on God to supply that want in his way and his time. Cause y'all know I want to enjoy a sexual relationship. It would seem like a tremendous waste for me to never again unleash my passion on a man I adore and to receive every drop of the love he wanted to give me. For me to never again do that? That's just wrong. Which brings me to depending so much on God, because I want that kind of sharing to occur with a man who wants to marry me and for the purpose of developing a lifelong bond. And who else but God can supply that?

It's clear to me that the this era of my life is about learning from what went wrong in my first marriage, healing my heart and offering it one day at a time. I feel that I'm ready to share more often here and I will. About how God is healing me and what I'm learning on this stage of my journey from sensuous wife to single mama while remaining sensuous and seeking God about being a wife again, it's sure to be anything but boring.

Love y'all,

Friday, June 26, 2009

She's stressed, He's horny...What to do

You dear readers ask me all kinds of questions and I think others would benefit if I shared my answers here. This one is timely because it's Friday evening and we want to make the sensuous most of our weekends now don't we?

Dear Shula,
I've had one of those days working from home where everything goes wrong and I have got to get some things accomplished. I was just in the middle of an important email late this afternoon when my DH comes home from work, starts to nuzzle the back of my neck and whispers, "Wanna have a nooner?" The first thought that went through my head was "it's not even noon" and "crap, I have so much work to do!". He's going out of town on some kind of hunting/fishing trip with his buddies this weekend so I don't want to turn him down but sex is the LAST thing on my mind! What should I do?" ~Anxious

Dear Anxious,
Miss girl, you need to get laid. Seriously. All your work will still be there after the lovin'. You can stay up late tonight while he's gone and balance the checkbook and do that report for your boss. Here's what I think you should do. Take a few deep breaths and give yourself permission to play even though your work is not all the way done. You deserve time with your man. Really. And he deserves time with you. So go to him and tell him you'd want his help to get you in the mood. That'll get his attention for sure. Lead him to the couch and lay down with your head in his lap. Ask him to pet your hair and tell you things he loves about you. Could be he tells you you've got great boobs and he can't wait to see them. Maybe he'll tell you what a sweetheart you are and how he loves your compassionate heart. Don't be picky. Just receive the love. Breathe deeply and pay attention to your body. Notice the feel of the fabric on the couch cushions. Notice the smell of his cologne. Stretch your legs and feel your muscles start to relax. Reach up and play with his hair. Massage his scalp gently with your nails. Look into his eyes and remember that this is your favorite man of all. Smile and let your hands begin to wander and let nature take her course. Stay openminded and open to pleasure. You deserve it, honey!
Love, Shula

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Tell Her

So many of my posts are girl talk that my guy readers get to listen in on. But this time guys, I'm talkin' to you.

Tell her.
Tell her.
Tell her some of the four hundred ways she makes your world a better place.
Tell her you love the way the light touches her face when she stands near the window.
Tell her the air in the room is better simply because she's in the room.
Tell her you have got to have her tongue in your mouth right now.
Tell her that just the sound of her voice makes you hard.
Tell her that the reason your kids have turned out so great is that she is their mother.
Tell her that it's her you want to know all your secrets.
Tell her that reaching out your toe under the covers and finding her foot is one of life's sweetest things.
Tell her that to touch her hand is to come home.
Tell her.
Reach her.
Woo her.
Pursue her.
You'll be so glad you did.


Sunday, May 31, 2009

Five sexy things about me, a meme

The incomparable Kyra over at Last Refuge of the Lonely Housewife has tagged me for a meme. Good timing darlin', it's about time I did a little gratitude attagirl inventory.

Five Sexy Things About Me
  1. I feel sexy deep down in my feminine heart The sexiest thing about me is I embrace my feminine heart and believe deep down that it is not a sin to be human sexual being. I'd even go so far as to say my feminine sexual heart is a very good thing. What does my feminine heart look like? My feminine heart knows I am strong yet content to rest in the strength of a man. I am very comfortable letting a man be good at what he does, offer his unique talents, and be himself without my trying to compete with him. I am very secure in my strength and I know that my feminine strength looks and acts and smells and tastes very different than masculine strength. Because I know that I am just as strong but in a different way than a man is strong, I can delight in and savor how delightfully other, delightfully different his masculine strength is from mine. My feminine strength has displayed itself when my man's heart was beat up by the world and I seduced him, drew him in to my softness, affirmed him, loved him reminded him who he was and who his God was. When I was done with him, he didn't know what hit him! But he knew it was very good and sweet and nourishing! Hah! (twinkly eyed victorious smile). Strong, nurturing, seductive, beautiful, and good. That's my heart.
  2. My breasts
    I like my body. I have a lot of gratitude for the figure that God and my mama conspired to give me. And yes, they're real. I enjoy my feminine shape, and I have found a happy medium that works for me. I don't hide in my clothes nor are my outfits rock star tight. I have been known to display some festive holiday cleavage at a company Christmas party. If you handle them right (smiling biting lower lip) breasts can give a husband and wife a great deal of pleasure. How do I know? I just know. A word about breasts, take care of them. My mama is a breast cancer survivor and she is alive today because she was and is very proactive about her health. Girls, take care of your girls. I am so proud of the example my mama gave me about embracing and owning your sexuality and making self care a priority when she went through several reconstructive surgeries to restore her feminine shape after cancer. She's as gorgeous as ever and in her own strong way she taught me that life with breasts was preferred to life without breasts. Don't get me wrong, when it comes to cancer, surviving is the priority. But since liking your body is #2 on this list, I believe feeling sexy in your own skin and liking your body is very important. I like the way my breasts look and feel, and I enjoy being a woman. I think the fact that my breasts can look good, feel good and at one time also nourished a child is sexy as allgetout.
  3. My eyes
    Eye contact is one of the sexiest things God ever made, in my humble opinion. Eyes open orgasms are also not to be missed. If you wanna know what I'm talking about, read Passionate Marriage. Being wrapped in an intimate embrace with the sweet light shining in your eyes is one of life's sweetest moments. Sweetness, seduction, joy, sorrow, compassion, eroticism, delight are all there in my eyes on any given day. Sexy? (nodding thoughtfully) Yeah, I think so.
  4. My hands
    I am such a girly-girl and it really shows in my hands. I get my nails done at the salon and the fresh, girly look of a French manicure makes me look and feel very sexy. I also, well, I, that is to say, er, hands are very talented. (cough) (grin) (blush)
    Aaand in other ways. (grin) By cooking a beautiful meal, holding the hand of someone I love, or writing this article, my hands express my sexy feminine spirit to my world.
  5. My generous heart
    I know there are two heart ones on the list, but there are two aspects of the heart that I want to highlight. Whether in the bedroom or the boardroom, in the kitchen or in the living room, I believe generosity is the way to go. It's just my nature to be generous. I don't know how else to describe it except to say there is much pleasure to be found in offering yourself with generosity.
Okay darlings. That was time well spent. The last few months have been quite a strain on me and it was important that I remember and affirm some good things about myself. Thank you for indulging me, dear readers, and thank you for affirming me by inviting me, beloved Kyra.

To whom should I pay it forward?
Cori, at My Heart His Heart
Alise, at Big Mama's Blog
Gemma, at Passion Within Marriage
Memes are fun because they help create a sense of community, so let the good folks who read your post know who tagged you for this meme by posting a link and please post a comment here when your post it up. Y'all enjoy!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Shula's Steamy Spicy Seafood Bisque

This bisque is high in protein and low in carbs which increases your levels of dopamine and lowers your levels of serotonin, so it's perfect for The Orgasmic Diet. Shellfish is known to be a libido enhancer, and anything hot and steamy and spicy is sure to get you thinking in a steamy spicy direction. So, it's good for your libido and tastes fabulous. Let's get started~

  • 6 stalks celery including leaves
  • 2 large onions (Texas 1015 sweet onions preferred)
  • 1 Tablespoon minced garlic (the kind from the jar is easier)
  • 6 cups white wine (I use Pinot Grigio but Chardonnay or even Cafe Zinfandel will do in a pinch)
  • 2 6oz cans tomato paste
  • 1 Tablespoon Tony Chachere's Creole seasoning
  • 1 quart heavy cream
  • 2 8oz package crab-flavored surimi
  • 2 12oz packages crawfish tails
  • 1 pound peeled tailed shrimp
  • 12 cups vegetable broth (bouillon works fine)
  • 1/4 cup dried parsley
  • extra virgin olive oil
  • 2 Tbsp corn starch
Trim and chop vegetables and place in bowl. Place a large stockpot over medium heat, add up to 3/4 cup olive oil. Allow stockpot and olive oil to warm. Add celery. Stir every 3-4 minutes, cover and allow to soften. When celery yields slightly to pressure from spoon, add onions. Stir. You may need to add the rest of the olive oil at this time. Cover and allow to soften, stirring every 4-5 minutes. When celery yields easily to pressure from spoon, vegetables are tender enough and it's time to add the liquids. You'll also notice that a small amount of vegetable juices is condensing at the bottom of the pot. Add the wine and tomato paste. Stir. Add the broth and Tony's seasoning. Cover and bring to a gentle simmering boil.

Before adding the seafood, we want to puree some of the vegetables and add the cream to make the bisque thicker and the trademark bisque color. Most of the vegetables will be at the top. Use a measuring cup to scoop out about half of the vegetables and broth and place in a mixing bowl. Leave about 1/4 to 1/2 the vegetables to give the bisque a thicker texture. Once you scoop out the vegetables from the stockpot, add the seafood and let it cook while you blend the vegetables.

Gently scoop the vegetables and broth into the blender. Be careful! It's hot. Add the cream and puree in the blender. While the blender is going, very carefully and slowly add the corn starch. Once pureed, return the now pink bisque colored blend to the stockpot and stir gently. Add the parsley, stir and simmer on low heat.

Serve with hot buttered sourdough toast. This bisque reheats beautifully and freezes well also. I made a double batch to inaugurate my new big stainless steel stockpot. Feel free to half the recipe if you like.


Sunday, May 24, 2009


Darlings, I have waited several months until I felt free to speak. Y'all know I have been in grief since January and now I can tell you what I have been grieving. I have been grieving the loss of my marriage.

(waiting for the collective gasp of shock)

I know darlings, I know. I was shocked too. If someone would have told me Delighted Husband would ever have sex with another woman, I would have told them they were out of their mind, that my husband would never do that. My agony and grief cannot be adequately put into words. But I am 5 months into the grieving process and denial, anger, bargaining, sadness are giving way to acceptance. My marriage to Delighted Husband is over. I'm not sure what else to call him but calling him Delighted Husband feels inappropriate. Until another name presents itself, I'll call him Ex.

I want to have no hatred. I made up my mind in the moments just after he told me the news. In the midst of the clean pain, a good decision welled up in my heart. I decided I would not throw away my tenderness, that my heart would remain tender and beautiful and not be overrun with bitterness and hate. I thank God for that choice for it has served me well. I will not allow hatred or revenge to choke out my sexuality and to remove my capacity for joy.

I decided to go ahead with opening my store and continue my blog. My heart and my story did not cease to exist with the end of my marriage. Can I act from the generosity of spirit required to operate a store that promotes great married sex and helps couples enjoy something I can't enjoy right now? Yes, I can. My experience of betrayal and loss has strengthened my resolve to promote healthy sex as a beautiful alternative to adultery. I have experienced the joy and healing power of healthy sex and the horror and grief when sex goes off the rails, and I haven't thrown out my lingerie, my toys, or my feminine energy. I still believe.

My parents have been married more than 40 years. That's my normal. That's how I was raised. That's what I want. In my deep heart, I believe I will someday marry again.

I will survive. And then I will thrive. I've done that before. But you know that already, don't you darlings?
Lots of love,

Friday, May 15, 2009

Sacred Naked

Sacred Naked-the spiritual side of pair bonding.

Sacred Naked is a phrase I've been using for years to describe pair bonding in an attitude of love, connectedness and gratitude toward God and gratitude toward your spouse. This sense of bonding and oneness is sometimes celebratory playful and erotic, sometimes gentle and tender, but always with a sense of bonding, oneness and togetherness. Pair bonding with a spiritual twist.

What does the Sacred Naked look like?
  • Cuddling naked while listening to music or watching TV
    Any time you're together alone is a prime opportunity to pair bond. Even if you're not involved in active sex play, maximize every opportunity to get skin-to-skin.
  • Cuddling naked while talking
    Connecting skin-to-skin makes it easier to share your feelings and can really bolster your courage when you want to talk about a subject you feel hesitant to discuss.
  • Being playful in the shower
    with the wife's soapy breasts pressed against her husband's back. This can feel nurturing and gentle or feel like an erotic boost if she reaches around and pleasures him with her hands.
  • Furtive urgent intercourse
    when the husband comes home for a nooner during lunch. One husband shared his story where his wife sent him a text message saying "come home now I need you". He arrived home to find his wife standing naked on the stairs saying, "let's go, I'm already ready for you."
  • Getting ready
    Many wives have shared with me that they prepare themselves to make love to their husbands by giving themselves a clitoral orgasm while anticipating his arrival. Having a clitoral orgasm prior to intercourse can make the gspot much more receptive to pleasure during quickie intercourse. Perfect for a quickie where the husband reaches orgasm quickly.
  • Pair bonding with God
    Have you ever considered that God created you a sexual being and that he wants you to embrace your sexuality with gratitude? This truth came home to me on a sunny day at the beach where my husband and I had found a secluded spot in between the dunes to spread our Liberator throe blanket. I stretched out to bask in the sun while my husband went for a swim. I could not see the ocean nor could anyone who happened across this deserted stretch of beach see me. I had total privacy just me and God. The sounds of the ocean were delightful, and the sun was so warm on my skin and the ocean breezes so delicious that I soon disrobed to enjoy it fully. I soaked in the pleasure from my senses and sent out my love and gratitude to God. It was one of the most beautiful spiritual and erotic moments of my life. Truly a Sacred Naked moment pair bonding with God enjoying the splendor and beauty of creation and the gift of touch he has given me. I wasn't fantasizing about another man, I was simply "hanging with my body and enjoying the sensations" as sobriety expert Dr. Doug Weiss from describes healthy self-pleasuring for women. To honor his privacy, I won't mention my husband's response when he came back from a swim to find his wife bathed in light and immersed in pleasure. But I smile at the memory. I'm willing to bet he does too.
  • When you're too tired
    When you're too tired for full on aerobic intercourse, you can always enjoy the Sacred Naked. Don't deny your spirit or your body the chance to bond with your mate just because you happen to be tired. Go ahead and cuddle naked. Give yourself permission to respond or not respond. Your body may surprise you and decide it has energy for sex after all!
  • Make a choice
    to make the most of every opportunity to enjoy the Sacred Naked. You'll be surprised how many Sacred Naked opportunities open up on the path before you. It's almost as if a benevolent God wants you to enjoy your mate and enjoy your body. (biting lip and smiling)
Love, Shula

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Accepted and loved

You know how kids go thorugh growth spurts? They eat and sleep a lot and then next thing you know their jeans don't fit. Well I've been going through a growth spurt, in a different way. Emotionally, spiritually, relationally. And my jeans don't fit either, but it's because they're too big.
I am amazed at how emotional eating is just so much less a part of my life, and how my appetite has decreased overall. In the midst of tremendous transition and sometimes painful growth, I'm feeling more accepted and loved than ever.
How do you experience acceptance and love?
Who pours acceptance and love into your emotional cup?
If you feel accepted and loved, how does that affect the other areas of your life?
Is it easier to care for your body and heart when you accept and love yourself?
Then how does this self care, self acceptance, self love affect your relationships with God and other humans?
If sex is giving your self, then what kind of self do you think you're giving?

I'm looking forward to sharing with you some of the good changes that are taking place in my heart. Some posts will come sooner than others. Good art percolates in the heart. Love, Shula

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Change the World

I woke up today with the song Change the World on my heart. It feels peaceful and appropriate. Today I open my store, This is a culmination of over a year of design and development and many years of life experience. In some way, I've been preparing for this all my life. As I shared here, I was ushered into sex in an abusive way. Codependency and an essentially boundaryless life resulted. I was a city without walls. But healing happens. And healing can be hot. Boy oh boy, can it ever! Sometimes healing is 3 steps forward 2 steps back, but healing comes. As I started to experience healing, I could not be quiet anymore. Even though I was convinced no one would read this blog, I scrunched up my courage, stepped up to the microphone and spoke my story. And you dear people talked back. Comments and emails that bring tears to my eyes just remembering.

The story that emerged is that people who have struggled with sexual abuse or sexual addiction or codependency want to have sober sex. And that sober sex, healthy sex can be hot. That toys and bedroom adventure gear can be a beautiful erotic addition to healthy sex. That healing can be oh-so-hot! So when a recovering person wants to get their healthy sexy groove on, where can they shop for sexy treats that won't threaten their recovery where can they go? And if they have a bad back and find that sex is painful or causes a flareup, where can they go? I felt such a tug in my heart to share the products that have worked for me and to share them in a beautiful classy way that was sexy and fun and respectful toward recovery.

So I did. And we have. I knew a job this big would mean a 'we' not a 'me'. I have the best team a woman could hope for. Beloved Customer Care who was the first one to come alongside me. (she's @sensuoushelp on twitter) Several Beloved Vendors who have contributed in turn...Web Developers, Graphic Designers all who gave from their heart and many who gave their time. And last but not least Beloved Project Manager who kept us and continues to keep us all on track, including me.
I have a lump in my throat and the sting of unshed tears in my eyes, because today's the day. Sober is sexy. is open! In my own small way, I have changed the world.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Shula's Sensuous Swedish Pancakes

These pancakes are higher in protein and lower in carbs than traditional pancakes. Perfect for The Orgasmic Diet. The coconut oil adds a lovely aroma. Be sure to save some coconut oil for more sensuous pursuits*. (wink)

4 eggs
2 cups milk
3/4 cup all purpose flour
1 Tbsp Splenda
1/4 tsp salt
2 Tbsp melted coconut oil

Beat the eggs until just barely fluffy-about 2 minutes. Add milk, continue to beat on medium speed. Add flour, Splenda and salt, then coconut oil. Ladle onto hot griddle that has been lubricated with coconut oil. Cook gently until just barely dry then flip and continue cooking for half a minute. Serve warm with butter and lingonberries.
Thank you @StanCoMarriage and MichiganTalberts for requesting this. Y'all enjoy!

*coconut oil is a wonderful lubricant for massage and intercourse

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hold my hand

There was a bad storm tonight. We knew it was coming and DC was a bit nervous at bedtime. I tucked them in, kissed them goodnight, spoke a blessing over them as I always do, and walked to the door. That's when I heard, "Mom, can you sit here in a chair and hold my hand?"
Melt my mama heart.
Of course I can!

So I sat there and held their hand. So sweet. So grown up. So still my baby.

A few minutes later, the power went out. I was on the potty which is a very uncomfortable place to be when the lights go out. Luckily, I happen to like baths with candles, because there were some tealight candles on the cabinet ledge of the tub, so I lit the candle and walked to DC's room.
I felt like Maria von Trapp leading DC down the hall to my room. Remember the scene with the thunderstorm?

DC really brought their pillow and comforter and nestled into a nest of blankets. I pet DC's hair and whispered words I have said since their birth: "sweet angel. mama's darlin. mama loves you sooo much." As I sensed DC slipping toward sleep, I wrapped my palm around their elbow and just comforted with my warm hand and my silence. My mama love needed no more words.

I'm so deeply grateful for this moment. DC is so growin' up, so smart, so capable, and so still my baby.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Novel Excerpt

I've been waiting for just the right moment, and I think this is it. I'm sitting on the balcony watching a sparrow drag a twig bigger than he is to the pile he's making in the corner. I hear doves and some other birdsong I can't identify. The air is cool but not uncomfortably so. Prolly 60 degrees or so. I want to share something with y'all. I'm writing a novel. A story of a young wife's spiritual and sexual awakening. Deanna is not me, but we do have a lot in common. I'd like to have her for one of my girlfriends. If Deanna had a blog, it would be in my blogroll.
I offer you Deanna's Eureka Moment, the moment where she experiences her sexuality as good and alive and believes that her husband's prayer might have something to do with it. You go, girl!
Excerpt from Awakening Deanna's Eureka Moment copyright Shula Jackson all rights reserved

you would not believe how much fun I am having with that latest song you sent me. When I saw the song title Michael Buble “coming home baby” I smiled and when I saw it was a duet with Boys 2 Men, I rolled my eyes but I have to tell you Tom, the groove and the harmony got to me right away .

For the first time since you left, I pictured you not in the desert but in an airplane seat checking your blackberry and emailing your admin about next week’s meeting, then sitting back and enjoying a Pauli girl thinking carnal thoughts of me. I picture your eyes gleaming with mischief as you settle back In the seat as the fasten seat belt light comes on. It felt so normal. So doable to think of you coming home to me now, or at the weekend. Tom, it was such a relief to picture you on a voluntary business trip wearing a suit instead of shipped off to the desert wearing week a grimy uniform and and a sandy sunburn. Such a relief to imagine you in Bruno Maglis instead of army boots. so familiar and safe and such a relief and relief quickly fanned into longing. But a longing unsullied by sorrow. Just pure want. Before I knew it, my hands were slithering down my torso reaching for my thighs. For about two seconds I felt pleasure then that feeling of being ridiculous hit me like a wave, cold and shocking.

So I swallowed a few times and took a deep breath and lay there and closed my eyes imagining carefully the scenario of you sprawled in an airplane seat. This time I fantasized a first class seat. I figured as long as I was fantasizing we may as well give you an upgrade. In my fantasy, you called me and I heard that hungry purr in your voice that made the hair on my arms stand up and felt my nipples harden. I imagined telling you they were hard and I saw the red flush on your earlobes as you told me how hot that was. I giggled and told you to keep your voice down someone on the plane might see you hear you overhear us talking. You told me to graze my fingernails over my stomach and I tightened my abs involuntarily. When I traced my fingernail over my ribs and belly, my nipples got even harder and this tight sweet longing started to swell in my breasts, wanting you to touch me. I swirled my fingernail tracing circling patterns over my ribs up to my breasts. As soon as I cupped the curve of my breast in my palm I felt so ridiculous and absurd and pitiful. Tom I told you in my fantasy I whispered into the phone "I’m sorry baby I just cant do it. I just feel so ridiculous." The thought of letting you down hurt my heart so I abandoned the idea of touching myself while talking to you on the phone and I just enjoyed the music. “I’m pressin’ on baby now I wanna feel you hold me tight” and that didn’t feel ridiculous at all. And the music had so much heat and so much unashamed energy.

I stood up on the wood floor in my sock feet and began to sway my hips and sashay around the room. Getting wilder and wilder as the dance over took me and and before I knew it, a new fantasy occurred me to me. I pictured you sitting crosslegged in on the foot of the bed watching me and instead of my flannel pajamas, I imagined myself wearing a cute shorts outfit with my ponytail through the loop of a baseball cap just the way you like it. I danced over to the closet and dug through until I quickly found a pair of denim shorts and a jogbra. On impulse, I grabbed one of your good white dress shirts that I hadn’t taken to the cleaners. The good one one of the good hoarded ones that still smell like you. I grabbed a ballcap off your closet shelf and threaded my ponytail through and for the full effect, I put on my old comfy New Balances and strode into our room as though I had just returned from a quick shopping trip. I pressed the repeat button on the ipod and turned up the volume on the docking station. This was going to take longer than once through.
I felt energy surge into my thighs like it did after the warm-up of a workout. So stared hard at the rumpled bedclothes imagining you sitting there. I stepped into the open doorway and grinned at you and you grinned back. Your eyes taking in the my glimpse of my exposed midriff below your shirt knotted and tied Maryanne style. A little of surge of joy shot through my heart at the thought of you seeing me and checking me out like that. I felt the calm and powerful emotion of seductive sexy wife taking hold in my mind and heart. I began to dance and sway in the doorway, never breaking the tractor beam of eye contact. I reeled you in with my eyes and didn’t let you go. I began to smile without trying and you began to sweat. A trickle of sweat turning your blonde hair brown and curly at the temples.
I began to dance and sway and move my feet and swing my hips in time with the music. I kicked off my shoes and twirled and spun with the my sock feet gliding effortlessly over the wood floor. I closed my eyes and let the song take over. I spun and stepped and shimmied my shoulders and that timeless feeling took over. All I could think about all my awareness was over the joy of moving in time with the music and the secret sweet joy of feeling you watching and feeling your delight and sensing your arousal. Tom, in my mind I just KNEW deep in the pit of my stomach that you not only accepted my sexy wife persona but you LIKED her intensely and it was that glorious sweet combination of love and lust perfectly blended that I only get from you.

Your desire and acceptance and delight gave me courage, Tom, and picturing you there and I began to strip. My confidence and joy growing steadily then surging as I untied your shirt and shimmied my shoulders out of the sleeves and pulled it off in one fell swoop, tossing it over my shoulder. I began to sweat and my dance took on a beautiful fury. I unbuttoned my shorts without thought and continued to dance in my jog bra and bikinis. Before I knew it Tom I was naked and proud and not one teeny bit ridiculous. Joy was as certain as the twinges of exertion I felt in my calves. I finished the dance with my arms overhead in a ta-da posture with my hair spilling down my back. I felt so alive and so free and so unbearably gorgeous. I felt that marvelous certainty down in my belly that I could lead you around the room like a ring through your nose but using only eyes to draw you. I guess you could say I felt my feminine power. I drank it in, reveled in it. And in my fantasy you swept me into your arms and took me standing in the shower. This wasn’t hard to imagine as I shimmied and rocked against the jets in the Jacuzzi tub. Oh Tom. I wish you could have seen me. I’m such a hottie, Tom. I really believe it baby I do. Just like you’ve known all along but now I believe. Every time I take in a breath I feel this unbearable sweetness knowing who I really am as a powerful gorgeous woman who is miles away from ridiculous. Don’t quit praying now, Tom cause it might be working. Ya think?

Goodnight darling. I’m limp as a wet noodle and I want to shut off the laptop and hug your big feather pillow and drift off to sleep. I love you baby.

Your sexy wife,


"When hope shows up on the scene, faith isn't far behind."

Monday, March 9, 2009

Sex and Worship-More Rich Parallels

I love it when this happens.
Some mornings I wake up with a worship song playing in my head and a beautiful desire to sing that song and use the song to connect with God.
This was one of those mornings.
The song today was Everlasting God by Brenton Brown. Here's the song. Enjoy it. Hum it, sing it, whatever you like. I'll be back to say more about worship and relational eroticism. Hah! (grin) I thought that would get your attention. But for now, enjoy the song.

The whole point to the song is to love God and notice his fine attributes. The worshiper notices and brags on God's fine attributes. God doesn't worship us back. What does the worshiper gain? The worshiper gains a beautiful connection to the one they love and worship.
Let's take a closer look at how this plays out in Everlasting God. The worshiper points out, brags on, and adores the following cool things about God:
  • You are everlasting
  • You are God
  • You reign forever
  • You are ours
  • You reign forever
  • You are our hope
  • You are our strong deliverer
  • You do not faint
  • You do not grow weary
  • You defend the weak
  • You comfort those in need
  • You lift us up on wings like eagles
I can tell you the joy I feel when I point out and adore these fine qualities about God. I am especially drawn to notice the things about God I particularly need or desire. When I feel weak, I remember God is the defender of the weak. I can embrace the fact that God will defend me. Just cause that's who he is. By noticing who he is, I can know my needs will get met. Organically. Just cause that's who he is. And I so delight in noticing who he is. Cause I know all those fine qualities are aimed toward helping me because he loves me. I feel so connected to him! Cause I know all those fine qualities will meet a corresponding need in me and in meeting that need, our bond will be strengthened.

This SO reminds me of lovemaking!

The whole point to making love to your husband or wife is to love them and notice his or her fine attributes. The lover uses their words and their touch to notice and brag on their lover's fine qualities. Dr. David Schnarch has a beautiful term for a focused erotic adoring of your mate. He calls it Doing and Being Done. During a time of focused giving while Doing her husband, the husband might just receive it and revel in it for the moment. In the same way, God doesn't worship us back. What does the Doer gain? The Doer gains a beautiful connection to the one they love and worship. I don't' mean worship in the pagan sense of elevating the creation to the level of creator. By worship I mean like the old wedding vow, "with my body I thee worship".

Let's take a closer look at how this could play out in a husband Doing his wife. I imagine a husband might point out, brag on, and adore the following cool things about his wife:
  • You have such a tender heart
  • At the same time, you are so lively and spirited
  • The shape of your body is so alluring
  • You are so loving
  • You have such long, gorgeous hair
  • Your breasts are absolutely beautiful
  • I love seeing how your body changes as you become aroused
  • You are such a loyal friend
  • The little sounds you make when I touch you are so erotic
  • You are so generous and giving
I can imagine the joy a husband feels when he points out and adores these fine qualities about his wife! He is especially drawn to notice the things about his wife that he particularly needs or desires. When he feels battle-weary from the roughness of the world, he can embrace his wife's tenderness and know that not all the world is rough and competitive. When he feels erotically drawn to his wife, as he sees signs of her arousal and knows that she is responding to him, he can know she wants him. Just cause that's who she is. By noticing who she is, her husband can know his needs will get met. Organically. A husband can so delight in noticing who she is. Cause he knows all her fine feminine qualities are aimed toward only him because she loves him. He can feel so connected to her! Because he knows all her fine qualities will meet a corresponding need in him and in meeting that need, their bond will be strengthened.

Can you remember a time when you spent uninterrupted time in focused adoring of your mate? What was that like for you? How did your husband or wife respond? Did you ever consider adoring God from your heart? In a similar way? Does worship for you feel like the focused adoring of lovemaking or something different? What does worship feel like for you?

I'll share more as more ideas occur to me. The parallels struck me as quite beautiful today and I wanted to share them with you.
With love,

Sunday, March 8, 2009

International Women's Day Synchroblog

The Bible is filled with stories of single mothers. There's one in particular that I want to highlight. from 2nd Kings 4:1-7
This single mother was a widow and was experiencing desperate financial need that put her children in danger. Like many single mothers in her situation, she went to a godly safe person and asked for help. The safe person she asked for help took the time to ask her about her situation and see how he could help. Once he found out what her resources were, he shared a plan on how God could multiply her resources and you guessed it he used other safe people to do it. Here's how the miracle went down:
The widow (how I wish we knew her name!) and her sons went throughout her community asking to borrow jars and bowls. They borrowed all they could. Then the mama and her boys went home, closed the door for privacy, and started pouring. See, all they had was a little bottle of oil, probably olive oil, and they took their little bottle and started pouring. Used in faith, that little bottle kept on pouring, kept on pouring, kept on pouring until it filled up all the other empty jars. This single mama sold all the oil and used the proceeds to pay off her debt, keep her sons out of danger and had plenty left over to live on. Good outcome!

What moves me about this story is the perfect blend of vertical and horizontal. In a vertical way, it was all about the single mother and God. Only God could make a small oil jar keep pouring like that. But the horizontal was equally important, the single mama and her community. Her safe friends who helped her. Without the jars from her safe friends, what would she have had to receive all that God was doing in her life?

There are many people in need in our world today. I'd like to ask you to pay close attention to the single mothers in your world. Be a safe person. Take the time to ask and listen and get to know what the needs are in their life. And be willing to be part of the miracle in their life. What is God doing in their life? How can you help them to receive that? collect it? capture it? contain it?
Be the empty arms that God can fill when you hug her. When God pours out good and blessing in her life, help her to receive it. Don't deny yourself the joy of being one of the jars of miracles in the life of a single mother.

Here's the whole story, from The Message:
4:1 One day the wife of a man from the guild of prophets called out to Elisha, "Your servant my husband is dead. You well know what a good man he was, devoted to God. And now the man to whom he was in debt is on his way to collect by taking my two children as slaves."

4:2 Elisha said, "I wonder how I can be of help. Tell me, what do you have in your house?" "Nothing," she said. "Well, I do have a little oil."

4:3 "Here's what you do," said Elisha. "Go up and down the street and borrow jugs and bowls from all your neighbors. And not just a few - all you can get.

4:4 Then come home and lock the door behind you, you and your sons. Pour oil into each container; when each is full, set it aside."

4:5 She did what he said. She locked the door behind her and her sons; as they brought the containers to her, she filled them.

4:6 When all the jugs and bowls were full, she said to one of her sons, "Another jug, please." He said, "That's it. There are no more jugs." Then the oil stopped.

4:7 She went and told the story to the man of God. He said, "Go sell the oil and make good on your debts. Live, both you and your sons, on what's left."
Here's the Synch in Synchroblog: all the other dear ones who also blogged on this topic today
Julie Clawson on the God who sees
Steve Hayes on St. Theodora the Iconodule
Sonja Andrews on Aunt Jemima
Sensuous Wife on a single mom in the Bible
Minnowspeaks on celebrating women
Michelle Van Loon on the persistant widow
Lyn Hallewell on women who walked with God
Heather on the strength of biblical women
Shawna Atteberry on the Daughter of Mary Magdalene
Christine Sine on women who impacted her life
Susan Barnes on Tamar, Ruth, and Mary
Kathy Escobar on standing up for nameless and voiceless women
Ellen Haroutunian on out from under the veil
Liz Dyer on Mary and Martha
Bethany Stedman on Shiphrah and Puah
Dan Brennan on Mary Magdalene
Jessica Schafer on Bathsheba
Eugene Cho on Lydia
Laura sorts through what she knows about women in the Bible
Miz Melly preached on the woman at the well
AJ Schwanz on women’s work
Pam Hogeweide on teenage girls changing the world
Teresa on the women Paul didn’t hate
Helen on Esther
Happy on Abigail
Mark Baker-Wright on telling stories
Robin M. on Eve
Alan Knox is thankful for the women who served God
Lainie Petersen on the unnamed concubine
Mike Clawson on cultural norms in the early church
Krista on serving God
Bob Carlton on Barbie as Icon
Jan Edmiston preached on the unnamed concubine
Deb on her namesake - Deborah
Makeesha on empowering women
Kate on Esther
Doreen Mannion on Deborah
Patrick Oden on Rahab
Scot McKnight on Junia
Jonathan Stegall on Eve
InHo Kim on Sarah
Mimi Haddad on deception

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Add to the Beauty

We come with beautiful secrets
We come with purposes written on our hearts, written on our souls
We come to every new morning
With possibilities only we can hold, that only we can hold

Redemption comes in strange place, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside

It comes in small inspirations
It brings redemption to life and work
To our lives and our work

It comes in loving community
It comes in helping a soul find it's worth

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces
Calling out the best of who we are

And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside

This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful
This is grace, an invitation

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces
Calling out our best

And I want to add to the beauty
To tell a better story
I want to shine with the light
That's burning up inside

Friday, February 6, 2009

Love Per Square Inch

There's less of me to love!
In the last 8 days, I have lost 5 1/2 inches.
Of all the times in my life where no one would hold it against me to hit the chocolate or indulge in some way, I'm not doing it. I'm not emotional eating. I'm just eating healthy food whenever I do eat and walking or going to the gym.
So I have this theory.
If there is less of me to love, then the same amount of love is divided by less square inches, which means the love per square inch ratio is higher.
(twinkly eyed smile)
That's as much math as you'll hear on this blog.
Love y'all,

Saturday, January 31, 2009

I love my readers

I miss you all. There are so many things I can't talk about. Just wanted you to know that I'm still here. I am currently going through what may be the most devastating time of suffering and refining I've ever had to walk through. I will be okay. You know me, I will do whatever it takes to push through to healing. And you know me, after I receive a measure of healing, I'll be so eager to share that story with you. In the meantime, I'll share other stories. If God never does another thing for me, His generosity is unquestioned. I am blessed. And I will be loved. And so will you.


Thank you Sue, for giving me this song.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Comparison Trap

Something I've learned recently is that comparing myself with another woman or worse yet someone else comparing me to another woman is a shortcut ticket to misery. I want to share some thoughts that have helped me find my way out of the comparison trap.

I must live in the light of God's sovereignty.
Trusting His good heart toward me.
Trusting God did a good job when he made me.
Trusting God and I and I together are doing a good job of continuing to make me.
I must accept God's grace toward me as sufficient,
and not fall into either ditch of pride or envy.
Pride says I'm better than someone else.
Envy says I think someone else's possessions or traits or qualities are better than mine and I therefore find my own possessions or traits or qualities not good enough, less-than, unsatisfactory.
God created me.
God did a great job and took great joy in making me.
And I can take great joy in making me too, because I am made by, shaped by, changed by the choices that I make day after day after day.
Making the choice to grow and change is a good thing.
But healthy change MUST be secondary to the foundation of truth that says:
God is sovereign, God is good, God is loving, and this good God shaped me with tender care.
It is in this warm solid foundation, that change is good and welcomed for I know I was delightful already before the change.

And being humble and vulnerable and tender and strong,
giving God plenty of elbow room to work,
that can only yield good things.

Feeling this, knowing this , believing this

and I'm delighted to share it with you.

With love,

PS Thinking about God creating me led me to this video of creation. I belong smack-dab amongst all this other created beauty cause the very same artist made me. Ooooh! Love that!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Good News

I have hope.

Like cold water to a thirsty soul is good news from a far country. Dallas is far enough!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Giving Words of Blessing

As many of you can imagine, I'm going through a dark time right now. I had posted about it and pulled both posts so I can edit them as our story unfolds.

One thing that would help me a lot is blessing. Hearing and reading good words spoken over me. So, dear friends. I ask you to bless me. Share a comment with whatever is on your heart to share. I need the fuel of good words spoken over me. Imagine me palms up ready to receive.
Love y'all,

PS Don't get worried about sounding religious. If you want to say, "I bless you with (benefit)" that's fine. Or you might just want to remind me of something positive or admirable about my self.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

What I'm all about

Hi I'm Shula and I am a Woman, Wife, Mama, Spiritual & Sexual Health Advocate..sharing my encouragement strength & hope

I'm all about the joy. Joy and delight from all the senses including erotic joy from healthy sexuality and healthy spirituality. Joy in spite of difficult circumstances not joy because of perfect circumstances. Cause hey, who's got perfect circumstances?? If you wait for perfect circumstances to have great healthy sex, you'll wait far too long!

Many common health issues don't have to keep you from experiencing great sex. I'm not a doctor or a sex therapist, I'm a regular girl who has overcome several medical issues and come through on the other side. (biting lip twinkly eyed grin). I am more known for my love of life and for my lifestyle of receiving pleasure through the senses than I am known for the health issues I've overcome. But I do mention the health issues like sexual abuse, depression, uterine prolapse, chronic pain, and hormone disorders because I want women everywhere to know that these health issues do NOT have to mean the end of their sex life! With love, creativity, persistence and quality tools and resources, the beauty and power and pleasure of healing can be yours.

I know sex has the power to bring bonding and blessing to marriage, and I don't want anyone to miss out! My tweets and my blog are a wonderful blend of joys and sorrows because I believe in truth in advertising. When I shout out my love and gratitude for a hot experience of healthy sex, my readers know it's legit because I also share about the personal growth and healing it took to get there. I do share glimpses from my daily life because I think it's important for credibility that you know I'm a regular girl and if I can have a healthy sex life then so can you.

After years of being asked for sexual health product recommendations, I'm opening a store at

This is my story, the concise version. (grin)
Lotsa love,

Friday, January 2, 2009

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

I love the idea of times and seasons in our lives. I want to know what God is doing in my life and how I can join him. I feel so much better about this than I used to feel. For me, New Years Resolutions were all about shame and white-knuckling. "I know what I should do and (scrunch up willpower).......(gasp) (pant) can't do it (shame)" and eeeew~ who'd wanna sign up that?

My mind got changed for the better when I read something by John Eldredge. I seem to recall it was in one of his newsletters. Anyway, I remember him talking about his group of friends and how one new year they wrote down something they really desired God would give them or do for them, in them, through them. Didn't have to be something "spiritual" (which is a whole nother article, cause I think it's all spiritual) but anyway it was something cool and compelling that really spoke from the heart for each person I remember it was fun nonreligious stuff like dancing, travel, stuff like that. Anyway, they folded up their pieces of paper and put them away and then revealed them at the end of the year and God has granted their desires or they had seen something right on the horizon where it was about to happen.

Here's my point. When it comes to turning over to a new season in my life, a new year, and I'm asking myself what to hope for, I wanna be driven by the deep desires of my heart, and I want to do it in the spirit of ask/seek/knock, revealing to God my honest desire and asking him to give/find/open the door. Of course there will be some corresponding action on my part. But I want my corresponding action to be like feel like a lover's scavenger hunt adventure not a desperate search for something that prolly doesn't exist.

Y'see, The Bible says if we take delight in the Lord he will give us the desires of our heart. There's so much in there. And like most things about God, it sounds too good to be true, so resist the urge to dismiss this idea as name-it-and-claim-it-ATM-Theology.

Have you ever taken delight in someone? Like a new baby or a new lover? Remember the adoration you gave to every detail of their body. "Look at her teeny little fingernails! Aren't they perfect!" "Breathe in the musky scent of you and feel how lovely it is to lay my cheek against your belly like a pillow". That's taking delight in. Just adoring every detail about them and celebrating each of their finer qualities by pouring out extravagant love on it. Have you ever done that with God? Have you ever just delighted in learning about his fine qualities and celebrating them by pouring out your extravagant love upon them? "Wow, God, the way I just happened to run into a developer with the coding language I need at a child's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese, that is so awesome how you did that. Thank you. I love you." or "Wow, God that sunset was just exceptional. Attaboy! Well done!" or "You know God the way you go out of your way to forgive me when I screw up is just way cool and deeply appreciated". You know, stuff like that. So, if you cultivate a lifestyle of doing that, relating to God like that, then your desires will be good desires. You're not gonna be asking for help with a wicked revenge plan or some shit like that. (laughing)

Now. Here's the really cool part. God is generous. And he enjoys giving us the world. Like, he even gets pleasure from it. I know, pleasure and God seem at first glance to be incompatible, but they're not. Jesus said, "It's the Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom." Let that one sink in and it may knock religion off it's high horse.

My friend Eleutheros is a really good husband. Seriously. The way he loves his Mrs. makes the world a better place. Delighted Husband and I were on our way to lunch with them and I complimented his wife (I'll call her Freebird) I complemented Freebird on this ring she was wearing. Not her wedding ring. A bonus ring. She smiled and her eyes sparkled and she said "Honey tell her the story of this ring." Oh my goodness, how their eyes were sparkling! He told us the story of going from place to place, leaving Freebird a little gift, and a clue to the next spot on the journey. Freebird ended up at a jewelry store with a little box given to her and directions to the place for dinner. Only God Almighty knows who derived more joy from this lovers scavenger hunt: Eleutheros or Freebird. God is like this.

So. When I look at the wide white expanse of naked calendar pages with nothing written on them, a whole year's worth, I realize I'm on a lovers scavenger hunt and God has hidden little gifts and treasures and clues for me along the way, and there is a theme and there is a bonus. And there will be directions for me to follow and corresponding actions I must take. But what a joy! Knowing that a lover has planted treats for me to discover and enjoy along the journey. (grin) Cool, huh?

So I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I do a Lover's Scavenger Hunt. I start a new one each year. And as I prepare my heart for the new year and take a gratitude inventory of the last year, I thumb through the desires in my heart for the first clues of the journey.

So, y'all wanna hear some of my first clues?
I want to take up figure skating again. After all these years, since I skated, I still see skating choreography in my head when I hear certain music. And I'm gonna skate again. I am so psyched about this! Now in order to do this, I'm gonna have to do athletic training and develop my strength and skill before I ever take to the ice. But isn't that fun!!! Not just 'ho hum working out because it's what I should do' but "whoo wee today let's work on strengthening my core to increase power and balance" Sound like fun don't it??? (grin)

Any of ya'll wanna share your clues? Your desires that are clues to what God wants to give you in 2009? I'd love to hear them.