Singin' in the Kitchen

For as long as I remember, ever since I had my spiritual and sensuous awakening, music has been so important. Such a zesty, vital part of my life.

More often than not, when I'm cookin' dinner, I'm singing. My office adjoins the kitchen, so I'll make playlists of great music and sashay and shimmy and sing in front of the stove. For me, this is about sending out my love and energy and enjoying being joy. for myself. and for my family.

From time to time, I've posted here songs I particularly enjoyed. Now, thanks to a friend on Twitter, I've found an easier way to share the songs I'm dancing dinner to. I've joined blip.fm and become a DJ. (grin)

Y'all I am having so much fun with this! I wanted to share with you for two reasons:
A) Anything joy in my life I want to share (with the exception of certain sacred naked details that Delighted Husband nixes)
B) I've been honest with you guys from the get-go about my tremendous joys, erotic and otherwise, and the high cost of growing it took to get there. But lately, it seems when I have a longer story to tell, it becomes a blog post and when I have a shorter story to tell, it becomes a tweet or a facebook post. And lately, I've had a lot of growing to do, and growing stories tend to be longer.

So I wanted to balance that out and give you a glimpse of some of the sweet moments in my life.

Here's a sampling of my playlist over the last few days. I've found my inner DJ and she LIKES it!
Visit blip.fm/SensuousWife to listen!

SensuousWife Save this one till after the kids go to bed (bites knuckle)

All Would Envy – Chris Botti & Shawn Colvin | pause

posted on Nov 13 at 3:43 pm

SensuousWife Is it too much to ask? I wanna full house and a rock-n-roll band and passionate kisses from you!

Passionate Kisses – Mary Chapin Carpenter | play

posted on Nov 13 at 5:32 pm

SensuousWife Shut up and kiss me. Nuff said.

Shut up and Kiss Me – Mary Chapin Carpenter | play

posted on Nov 13 at 3:30 pm

SensuousWife Perfect kitchen dance music. Flour on the apron and everything!

La Vie En Rose – Grace Jones | play

posted on Nov 13 at 3:26 pm

SensuousWife The guitar is organic pure & Neil's vocal is sexy as allgetout. (shiver) if you really listen to the words, you'll blush.

Forever In Blue Jeans – Neil Diamond | play

posted on Nov 13 at 3:15 pm

SensuousWife Singing this song makes me feel like my heart has taken wing. Joy despite pain feels so good!

Change The World – Eric Clapton | play

posted on Nov 13 at 5:02 pm

Sensuous Cook

I've started writing and photographing recipes while I cook and calling it The Sensuous Cook, which I'm compiling as a book and will share here and on a new blog Sensuous Cooks. Fun eh? Cause of course "alive to pleasure received through the senses" includes taste. Does it ever! And if you dance and sing while you cook it, so much the better.

I can hardly cook without music. My office is close to the kitchen and I'll cue up a playlist of music while I'm makin' dinner. I'll dance around the island and shimmy in front of the stove.
One of my favorite singers to cook to is Neil Diamond:
"warm touchin' warm reachin' out touchin' me touchin' you sweet caroline bah bah bahhh good times never seemed so good SO GOOD SO GOOD duh duh duh i'd be inclined bah bah bahhh..." and next thing you know we have a crab alfredo made from scratch. God, I love being a woman.

Sweet Breeze on My Face

Sense of touch and hearing today went straight to my heart, my friends. Sweet breeze filtered through tall trees and touched my face while this song was playing on my phone. Enjoy.

Even in soulless Corporate America

Y'all, I have figured out I can do this job and still remain a soft, loving, reasonably sane woman. Well, not figured out. I experienced it. Oh goodness, lemme just tell you the story.

Ever since I started this corporate gig, I have been increasingly crabby and grouchy and dare I say bitchy. Yes, bitchy. I was running on empty and you know what that is right? A recipe for disaster. I felt under so much pressure, and my emotional bank account was so overdrawn.

In my old job which didn't pay much and was often frustrating as hell, I worked from home. So I was free to put things into my day that fed my soul. nourished my heart. Stuff like long walks out in nature powerwalking my way down a jogging path with nothing but green and the music in my ears. Stuff like having the house all to myself during the day and going into the gameroom and cranking up the stereo, pushing back the furniture, and dancing and singing my little heart out. And you know how you dance when nobody's lookin'? I danced like that. I would start out dancing like I danced in dance class and then passion would take over and I would just whirl all over that room! I'd feel breathless and alive and fabulous.

I had a lot of freedom in my schedule for quality time with my girlfriends, several of which I'd have lunch with on a regular basis. I had a nourishing encouraging support group that I was a part of. The group was led by a woman therapist and we slowly worked and grew our way through several books and workbooks like Boundaries and Healing for Damaged Emotions. And y'all know, I want to live right and be healthy and I need all the help I can get. And there was SO much love in that room as we all fought and grew together. Cause growing, real changes in the heart is a struggle, and you needs lots of people who love you who celebrate your little victories and hold you hand when you need to cry.
So, yeah, I didn't make much dough, but I had a really good world.

And then I got this corporate gig downtown.

And all the things in my life that nourished me went away.
And the pressure on me and the demands of me increased.
And the time! The sheer force of hours.
Cause I'm back in cubicle land. and for nine hours a day they want me to sit still and be quiet. And I'm me. Miss Dance-Joy-Vivaciousness. Trying to be quiet. And it's so hard for me to be still it nearly bout makes me ache. Oh, and did I mention, my dance class closed for the Summer? So really, all these lovely nourishing things in my life went away.

But the money is so good. I mean, I've made more, but I've certainly made less and this job allows me to pitch in on some financial goals that are really important to Delighted Husband and me. Paying off debt for one thing. And start up capital for my new venture for another. So I was in this gig for the duration.
And dying on the vine.

And ya'll know how unreligious I am. and while I enjoy the social, community aspect of church (and hey they also have a great band) my primary way to connect with my spirituality has been my singing, my dancing, my nature walks and bike rides.

So I was socially spiritually and emotionally overdrawn. I was a mess.

Okay I'm getting to the good part, I swear. I just wanted you to know how bad it was.

So this week, I remembered I had music on my pocket pc. It had been so long since I listened to music on my pocket pc, I mostly use my mp3 player, I had forgotten. But I'd heard everything on my mp3 player over and over, it was my workout list for the gym and I didn't think I'd find my get sweaty fired up music comforting.

So I did "play all" just to see what was there on my pocket pc.

And oh, you guys, it was Chris Rice. An instrumental from The Living Room Sessions. Savior Like a Shepherd Lead Us. Now as I told my girlfriend Pro Deo Sum on the phone today, as much as I complain about growing up in a Christian home, I am really glad I grew up hearing and singing the old hymns, because back in the day the people who wrote hymns were people who lived lives of struggle. We're talkin' big time suffering here, people and those lyricists knew what it was like to feel your soul had sprung a leak and the next gas station was 15 miles away. They knew. So these hymns speak comfort to me like nothing else. So I listen to dear Chris Rice play this hymn, and he has such a light touch. I mean, when Chris Rice does a hymn, if his music were cooking it would be a light garlic sauce that enhances the flavor of everything else and doesn't cover it up. Not your ponderous old Granny music. Light and airy and graceful. Are you followin' me here? I'm doing my best to describe the song because I don't think I can find it on you tube. Anyway, so there's the song. And the gyst of the lyric is "Jesus please be our good shepherd and take good care of us cause we're weak and we're hungry and we're sheep so we're limited in our ability to do anything about it."

When I heard this song, I heard all this comfort that I wasn't feeling. I remembered all the amazing spiritual moments I'd had on the jogging path. And I sat there in my cubicle. And it was like pressing your nose against the glass and seeing this happy dinner party going on inside without you. I heard love. I heard intimacy. I heard connection. I heard joy. I heard togetherness. and I wadn't gettin' any of it. And it just tore me up. So I closed my eyes, and I thought, "Jesus I miss you so much I can hardly stand it. In fact, I can't." And instantly, He was there. When I opened my eyes, I saw my computer screen and heard nice music in my earphones. When I closed my eyes, I saw this movie in my mind of Jesus standing before me, looking—as he always does in my mind's eye—like my brother Brian, with Celtic green eyes beaming with love and looking at me with such delight. I blinked back and forth a couple of times, stunned in a happy way. I opened my eyes, I'm smack dab in the middle of soulless Corporate America. I close my eyes, and Jesus is holding my hands and looking into my eyes with such love and we are dancing like children up and down the aisles of cubicle land. -SW

PS
Oh and tomorrow morning, I'm loading up my bike in the shagmobile and I'm hitting the bike trails. Oh yeah!

Why Beauty Matters

This is one of the things I love about blogdom.
The exchange of ideas and the intangible way someone else's heart calls forth a part of your own. This happened to me today. I was reading Alastair's blog Obscene Beauty and he was talking about Captivating and Women and Beauty. All topics near to my heart. Interestingly, the blog post that inspired Alastair was written by a woman I've admired for quite some time. Shawna Atteberry has a beautiful heart and a brilliant mind and she's not afraid to show us either! (grin) I always enjoy reading her blog. And this time, Shawna and I talk about this topic with somewhat different perspectives. And that's okay. Because, as I am learning, you don't have to agree with someone all the time in order love them, or like them, admire them, respect them. I know most of you have known this already, but bless my heart, just be happy for me that I am catching on. ;)

(smile)

So on to beauty. and what it means to me.

After walking this out for the last 3 years, praying, meditating, seeking wise counsel, and doing the push/pull, 3-steps-forward-2-steps-back dance of discipleship, I have come to believe that embracing beauty, savoring it, and offering it to my world does matter to God.

Sarah Groves said is so well in her song Why It Matters, "sit with me and tell me once again of the story that's been told us, of the power that will hold us, of the beauty, of the beauty why it matters"

That's all flowery and Hallmark-cardish and nice, so I'll try to make this practical and clear. When I speak of offering my beauty to my world, what does that look like in behavior?

* Going for long walks or jogs along nature trails and drinking in the 200 shades of green with my eyes, listening to the birds singing and believing that with my sneakers pounding the pavement I'm praising God too.

* Caring for and cherishing myself enough to adorn myself in clothes that fit and flatter the body God gave me and taking a few minutes to care about adding some cute jewelry because it makes me feel good.

* Walking into the my sleeping children's bedrooms to check on them when I get home late from dance practice because I know they need my mother touch on their forehead and my kiss on their cheek even though their Daddy is the greatest and I'm sure he tucked them in just fine.

* Experiencing the freedom and discipline and joy of Christian sacred dance with a roomful of women of every color shape size and athletic ability.

* Sitting on a park bench watching our children play on the slides and swings while listening to one of my girlfriends share her struggles and really listening, squeezing her hand when it feels appropriate.

* Flirting with my husband by "accidentally" bending over to pick something off the kitchen floor thereby flashing him some cleavage and enjoying his goggle-eyed stare and delighted grins.

* Getting all muddy while coaxing color out of the ground in my garden

Nowhere in this list am I competing with Barbie, or defining myself by my waist size. And while doing these normal everyday things, do I feel I'm offering beauty that matters? You bet I do! (grin)

Shawna is a good woman, and a sister of mine from Emerging Women, Shawna's objections to Captivating echo similar concerns raised by others.

We live in such an image-concious culture. One of my girlfriends has a 10 year old daughter, a perfectly made, perfectly normal girl who has started talking about going on a diet. Anytime someone raises the topic of beauty, many women cringe, thinking, "Good Lord! This is where eating disorders come from!".

But, as Alastair said, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I'd venture to say we live in a world that is over-focused on image while being beauty-deficient.

But again, beauty can be a scary word. So many women have had the soul-draining experience of being seen purely as a hood ornament with their considerable talent, heart and brains being ignored. I'm very protective of Shawna's heart when she voices her concerns. Because it is true that 'man looks on the outward appearance but God looks on the heart'. The same God, the same Bible also tells the story of Esther who prepared herself with a year of royal spa treatments before she offered her beauty to the king and offered her bravery to save Israel. Beauty and strength both matter.

Having said all that, since I have received such profound healing and restoration from God while reading and hearing all that Stasi and John poured into Captivating, I wanted to share my story.

I've also talked about Captivating in the long version of my story:

I've written so much about beauty on my blog, but I've never catalogued it as such. (makes mental note to add keyword beauty to several articles)

Oh and back to the song, I'll see if I can find a link to embed the song here. It really is one of those songs that gets inside your heart and lifts it up. Chris Rice (beloved lyricist in his own right) had some lovely things to say about this song.

Offer your beauty, one heartbeat at at time, ladies. It matters.
Love,
SW

I don't deserve it, but I'll embrace it

my sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
my sin, not in part, but the whole
is nailed to the cross
and I bear it no more
praise the Lord
praise the Lord
O my soul

Click the rewind and play buttons repeatedly and lather-rinse-repeat until this one sinks down into your soul. When it does, you'll get filled up with a great-big Gratitude Happy. Many artists sing this song well. My favorite is the one belted out by the sweet voice of Sarah Welch Fuselier. Whoo yeah! Sing it darlin!

Talk like this will getcha places!

Husbands, take note. You don't have to be an eloquent man to score. Lemme give you a sensuous shortcut that is sure to please. Block off at least an hour. Let your wife hear you tell the kids that you're putting Mommy down for a nap, and unless the smoke alarm goes off or they are experiencing severe bleeding that you don't want to be interrupted. Close and lock the door. Stand behind your wife and envelop her in your arms. Lean over and whisper in her ear that you want to tell her a bedtime story. Then read her the lyrics to Even Better Than The Real Thing by U2. Play the song for extra credit. I'll let y'all take it from there....
Lemme just say, wow and meow. -SW

Let the Music Move You

One of the biggest dimensions to living a life of pleasure as a sensuous wife is how I feel and act when nobody's looking except my Creator. Music is such a huge part of that. This morning while I was standing in front of the stove whipping up a batch of omega 3 swedish pancakes (gotta get in that guerrilla nutrition whenever I can!) the song I was listening to went from Exquisite Cathedral to Groove Dog in just a few bars. I let myself enjoy it. I swayed and sashayed around the kitchen, letting my wrists do a writhey-twirly thing like a Bollywood movie. I had so much fun I burned one batch of pancakes. I'd do it again.

Better 6 partially burned pancakes with a groovin' happy wife then 8 perfect pancakes with an annoyed and itchin' wife.

The song, as you groovin' wives will doubtless want to know, is The Call on Michael W Smith's Freedom album. -SW