Friday, May 23, 2008

An Update

A dear reader who am i has asked for an update. WAI, you are very kind to ask.
There is a difference between integrity and discretion.
When the going gets tough, generally I don't post about it. I take care of myself and take care of my family.
I have a job that I'm less than thrilled with but while I have it, I have to do the job with integrity. This is hard work. Knowing the job has a ticking expiration date makes this harder.

The issue with one of the dear children involves their school. One of the two main issues has been completely resolved. The second issue is, well they're not returning my calls. I'm going to see this one through but I have other things to take care of.

In the meantime, I've been focusing on:
  • taking myself to the gym

  • worshipping God to reboot my tired brain and tired heart

  • calling my friends and letting them love on me

  • buying myself a nice batch of on-sale lingerie

  • making time for Delighted Husband to take it off.
    I love starting our weekend off with a bang. ;)

I started this blog to give, and I still want to. I have so much inside I wanted to offer and I was elated to have a way to offer it. I don't want this blog to evolve into venting my diffulties. Not that there's anything wrong with that-it's the sole purpose of many blogs. I just want this blog to lift your spirits, not to be a negative drain. Since only 1 reader has commented on the job need posts, I'm thinking it's not working for the readers and WAI and I should just take our conversation offline.

There's a fine line here and I'm going to let it percolate in my heart. Because I wonder that by only posting the good outcomes some people may get the idea that going for healing and wholeness and hotness is easy. It's not. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes it's work. Always infinitely worth it! far my strategy is to get my shit together offline and tell y'all about it later. So far, this strategy is working for me!


Cahleen 何凱琳 said...

I'm glad to hear you're doing okay! You have given me so much just by being honest on this wonderful little blog of yours. Sorry I never comment! I've been so lazy these days, but I savor every post. I'll pray for you. Looking forward to the next post!

Cocotte said...

Hi SW,

I really enjoy your blog because it gives me some thoughts to "chew on." Generally, I'm not a person who delves deep into my soul and examines things.......I'm more of a snap decison maker, so I feel like I can really learn a some things from you! Thanks for your continued diligence in updating your blog - I enjoy ALL your postings!

Sensuous Wife said...

thank you both. your prayer and community are very special to me.

and welcome, LB, who wrote for the first time this weekend.

all of you reading, I will continue to be candid as I write, with the understanding that some things should only be said at $95 an hour. ;)

Who am I said...

Dear Sensuous Wife,

Several things I have been thinking about after reading this post.

Whatever works the best for you and your husband, is primary, and that may change from time to time.

Glad that at least part of daughter's issue is resolved.

Appreciate your perseverance on the job, I am sure that is hard.

It is a fine line what to share and not to share, and the balance between negative and positive.

I appreciate it when you and others, like Gemma at www.passionwithinmarriage share the ups and downs in life, in spite of your committment to having great sex lives with your husbands.

It is helpful to me when I hear that others lives and marriages, even good passionate marriages, go up and down- sometimes passionate, sometimes struggling, and sometimes just blah.

It is too easy to go to one extreme or the other- to listen to someone else give testimony about their great marriage and just get depressed because yours isnt' so great, or if you are the one sharing to just share the good stuff.

I struggle myself at times in knowing what to share. My wife and I reconciled after a major and stressful separation that almost led to divorce.

People are encouraged by our testimony, but I have to be careful to not make it sound so dramatic that they are discouraged if their marriage doesn't turn around right away. On the other hand if I told them every gory detail of what a struggle the turn was and at times still is, they might lose interest.

I liked the humorus way that you said that somethings should only be said at $95 per hour.

I had a female freind once who said it was wonderful going to therapy just to have someone to listen to her, but it was sad that she had to do that to feel heard.

During our separation, I was in alot of Christian therapy- and at times, the professionals didn't know what to say to some of what I shared. I actually found more help from group counseling, and later from Divorce Care- both groups which had a mix of both men and women.

People that have been through the fire whether that is marriage issues, alcohol issues, sex issues, etc. often seem to have alot of compassion and understanding.

Hope I didn't ramble too much,

Sensuous Wife said...

Thank you, WAI. I really appreciate everything you've shared. And no, you weren't rambling. Not at all.