Saturday, July 5, 2008

Sometimes it helps if you grunt

I've been working out at a gym for a while and I recently took it to the next level by having a trainer set some goals for me. Today was the first day worked out on the new goal level. It was hard. It was harrrrrrd work! Without trying to, or conciously thinking about it, I groaned while I did the last 2 reps on the weight machine. It helped. It really helped. In the split second after making that sound of pure agonized effort, two thoughts immediately raced through my mind.
1) Good Lord! That's so unladylike.
2) That really helped. I think I'll try it again the next time I'm struggling on the last rep.

Something else that helps?
I mean really helps.
I turn away from the mirrors. I need to focus on what my mind and body is doing, not keeping up the running commentary on body image. I deliberately shifted my concentration
sight—(what do I look like? Does my whatever look fat?)
touch—(am I reaching equal range of motion? Do I feel out of breath? Do I need to slow down?)

It really helped.

Y'all know I like wearing a cleaveage-and-chiffon dress as much as the next girl, but sometimes I have to give myself permission to be unladylike to get the job done.

Please pray for me. I am really going for it and I need encouragement.


Kyra said...

Well, you know how I am about prayer... But I will send my earth mama all the energy I can muster. I find I can gain so much mental and physical energy from working my body to exhaustion. You are reminding me to do it more often! If you aren't feeling that mojo now, I promise you will be soon. Hugs, Kyra

Sensuous Wife said...

(grin) thanks!
There is such a rush when you get to that worked out enough stage. I don't know that I'd call it exhaustion, but somewhere between barely-breathing-hard and ohmyGod-I'm-wiped-out is a sweet spot. And working out till I get to the sweet spot is just an awesome rush.

ps have you ever noticed that when you don't work out you get cranky? that's happened to me in the last coupla months.

Kyra said...

Heck yeah I've noticed in it. Unfortunately I'm wallowing in that rut girl. I hope you've given me motivation to dig myself out.

Cocotte said...

Motivation is the key. And boy, do I lack it sometimes (see one of my recent posts for my list of excuses). Good for you SW to push through and succeed!

Sue said...

you've got my prayers, SW. I know all-too-well the body-image/self-image struggle and can tell you firsthand how much God can change our minds to realize what beauty He's put in us as His daughters. :)

Who am I said...

My wife has joined Curves and I am so proud of her for her faithfulness in going and her desire to be more healthy.

I suspect your DH appreciates your efforts also.

I feel so sad for women like my wife who have such a life long struggle with weight, body image, etc.

Tom Allen said...

Mrs. Edge and I went to a trainer last year. The both of us did a lot of grunting, and maybe even a bit of muttering under the breath. ;-)

There's a reason that asian martial arts use the yell - it helps to get some of that energy out.

Funny that you don't like the mirrors, though. My wife preferred them, and I tended to look away. I felt stoopid looking at myself. But the trainer kept insisting that by focusing on my form, I could see that I was lifting and moving properly. The Jedi mind trick is that you have to stop seeing your "body image" as a negative thing, and look toward the form itself.

And try to remember that even those ripped guys at the gym keep thinking "Damn, if I could only get a little more/less in that area..."

Sensuous Wife said...

Wow y'all. Thanks!

Welcome, Tom. Nice to meetcha. So everyone wishes they looked a little more ripped huh? I'll buy that. Discontentment is an equal opportunity tormentor. I should say that when I look in the mirror at home, or when I catch my reflection in a window pane, I feel amazed and happy. I like seeing the new changes in my body. I'm proud of me. It's just when I'm working out, I find the mirrors distracting. And form on resistance training machines for me is tactile not visual. And hey, that's what the trainer is for. Now, when Delighted Husband is making love to me, I find the mirrors arousing as allgetout. ;)