Monday, March 9, 2009

Sex and Worship-More Rich Parallels

I love it when this happens.
Some mornings I wake up with a worship song playing in my head and a beautiful desire to sing that song and use the song to connect with God.
This was one of those mornings.
The song today was Everlasting God by Brenton Brown. Here's the song. Enjoy it. Hum it, sing it, whatever you like. I'll be back to say more about worship and relational eroticism. Hah! (grin) I thought that would get your attention. But for now, enjoy the song.


The whole point to the song is to love God and notice his fine attributes. The worshiper notices and brags on God's fine attributes. God doesn't worship us back. What does the worshiper gain? The worshiper gains a beautiful connection to the one they love and worship.
Let's take a closer look at how this plays out in Everlasting God. The worshiper points out, brags on, and adores the following cool things about God:
  • You are everlasting
  • You are God
  • You reign forever
  • You are ours
  • You reign forever
  • You are our hope
  • You are our strong deliverer
  • You do not faint
  • You do not grow weary
  • You defend the weak
  • You comfort those in need
  • You lift us up on wings like eagles
I can tell you the joy I feel when I point out and adore these fine qualities about God. I am especially drawn to notice the things about God I particularly need or desire. When I feel weak, I remember God is the defender of the weak. I can embrace the fact that God will defend me. Just cause that's who he is. By noticing who he is, I can know my needs will get met. Organically. Just cause that's who he is. And I so delight in noticing who he is. Cause I know all those fine qualities are aimed toward helping me because he loves me. I feel so connected to him! Cause I know all those fine qualities will meet a corresponding need in me and in meeting that need, our bond will be strengthened.

This SO reminds me of lovemaking!

The whole point to making love to your husband or wife is to love them and notice his or her fine attributes. The lover uses their words and their touch to notice and brag on their lover's fine qualities. Dr. David Schnarch has a beautiful term for a focused erotic adoring of your mate. He calls it Doing and Being Done. During a time of focused giving while Doing her husband, the husband might just receive it and revel in it for the moment. In the same way, God doesn't worship us back. What does the Doer gain? The Doer gains a beautiful connection to the one they love and worship. I don't' mean worship in the pagan sense of elevating the creation to the level of creator. By worship I mean like the old wedding vow, "with my body I thee worship".

Let's take a closer look at how this could play out in a husband Doing his wife. I imagine a husband might point out, brag on, and adore the following cool things about his wife:
  • You have such a tender heart
  • At the same time, you are so lively and spirited
  • The shape of your body is so alluring
  • You are so loving
  • You have such long, gorgeous hair
  • Your breasts are absolutely beautiful
  • I love seeing how your body changes as you become aroused
  • You are such a loyal friend
  • The little sounds you make when I touch you are so erotic
  • You are so generous and giving
I can imagine the joy a husband feels when he points out and adores these fine qualities about his wife! He is especially drawn to notice the things about his wife that he particularly needs or desires. When he feels battle-weary from the roughness of the world, he can embrace his wife's tenderness and know that not all the world is rough and competitive. When he feels erotically drawn to his wife, as he sees signs of her arousal and knows that she is responding to him, he can know she wants him. Just cause that's who she is. By noticing who she is, her husband can know his needs will get met. Organically. A husband can so delight in noticing who she is. Cause he knows all her fine feminine qualities are aimed toward only him because she loves him. He can feel so connected to her! Because he knows all her fine qualities will meet a corresponding need in him and in meeting that need, their bond will be strengthened.

Can you remember a time when you spent uninterrupted time in focused adoring of your mate? What was that like for you? How did your husband or wife respond? Did you ever consider adoring God from your heart? In a similar way? Does worship for you feel like the focused adoring of lovemaking or something different? What does worship feel like for you?

I'll share more as more ideas occur to me. The parallels struck me as quite beautiful today and I wanted to share them with you.
With love,
Shula

4 comments:

kupercaya said...

I love this whole blog! It's something I would write myself (and may!). THANK YOU!!
I'm 16 wks til my marriage and I'm so excited!! Woohoo!!

Who am I said...

My wife and I are doing Intimacy Ignited book and study now- this post reminds me so much of the lover in the Song of Solomon.

Really good post.

Beautifully Me said...

What a beautiful post! I appreciate you for this. It serves as a reminder of what a loving and intimate relationship should be! Often times I think that people forget that seXuality and spirituality are intertwine. And that we Love and make Love because God is the ultimate source of LOVE!! You have inspired me! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Hi - I am definitely delighted to find this. great job!