"To the extent that a man and woman have settled for a dull genital relationship, they have settled for a marriage that is a very inadequate reflection of God's love for mankind."
—Andrew Greeley, Sexual Intimacy Love and Play
What happens well or doesn't happen well or maybe doesn't happen between the marital sheets means far more than whether or not we had a good time. Way more. The dynamics of the bedroom (or the kitchen or game room) have great implications on the rest of our lives. When sex is good, the lighthearted dynamics spill over into every other area of our lives. When sex is bad, or doesn't happen for an extended drought, the dreary impoverished dynamics spill over into every other area of our lives.
I've known this by experience for quite some time. But Andrew takes it further, making the bold claim that the timbre tone and quality of married sex is a reflection of God's love for mankind. The wordless spirit atmosphere of a home where generous satisfying sex dwells says essentially, "God is a good generous God and there is plenty of love in this world and goodness happens on a regular basis."
In other words, it's not all about us. The life we live screams either doom or hope to those who are watching and listening to our nonverbal dialogs with our spouse.
Andrew Greeley goes on to say:
"It is to be presumed that most married couples do not view the art of sexual intercourse as a reflection of Yahweh's fidelity, after all, it occurs in the privacy of their bedroom with the door closed and the lights dim. How could they possibly believe that improving their skills at bringing each other pleasure reflects God's implacable commitment to his people?
They don't think of these things, in all likelihood, because nobody has ever suggested to them that the quality of their love —of which sexual intercourse is of course at the very center—is the most effective way they have of revealing God's love to the rest of the world. To the extent that [a husband and wife] are committed to improving the surprise and pleasure, the excitement, the challenge of what goes on between the sheets, then they are reflecting God's commitment to his people."
Good sex takes time, loving dedication, focused adoring attention, faithfulness, passion and steadfast commitment to learn your partner's body by heart. All of these are characteristics of the God who invented sex. Imagine that! Art is a window into the heart of the artist. And the character traits of good sex tell us volumes about the heart of the good God that created sex. -SW